Reality "Stars" Are Making Bank

Don't be tardy for the party. And Pay me $10,000 to be there.

Lately I’ve been trying to come up with some get-rich-quick schemes in order to keep me off the streets and support my addictions – shopping and sushi. Short of throwing myself in front of a moving vehicle, I’ve really been struggling to find an easy way to make a ton of cash. But apparently, in this day an age, all a girl has to do is invest in some hair extensions and an upgrade in boob size in order to make her millions.

No, I’m not referring to prostitution. Unless that’s what you consider the girls on the VH1 series “Rock of Love Bus” who make $1,500 per personal appearance.  So I guess my new life plan should be: take part in a ridiculous reality series, make my way onto the D-list next to Kathy Griffin and then rake in the cash by going to fabulous parties and charging for it.

I just want to know one thing, who in their right mind would pay Johanna Botta from The Real World Austin $1,000 to hang out with them? She may be a former Miss Peru, but you’re in America now, Joanna. That’s not how we roll.

And another thing; disregarding what she makes per episode on the Real Housewives of Atlanta, did you know that gold digging, man stealing, “Tardy for the Party” singing Kim Zolciak charges $8,000-$10,000 per personal appearance? (Editor’s Note: I’d pay that much NOT to be in a room with that mess. Unless she’d perform live. Then I’d pay that fo sho.) Well of course these women are going to be rich and fabulous wherever they go; Bravo pays them thousands of dollars just to show up! Kim needs another skin-tight, boobie-poppin’ dress to match her new wig? No problem, just show up at some random party and demand payment.

But the one so-called celebrity that really grinds my gears is Paris Hilton. Does anyone know what she’s famous for anyway? A few whacked out reality series under her belt and now she charges a $100,000 personal appearance fee. I’d be lucky if I made that in a year. Really lucky. Does anyone even like Paris Hilton? Could anyone like her enough to spend $100k and risk herpes/HPV? You’d be better off paying me to show up at your party. And unlike Paris, I wouldn’t make you dress up or kiss my ass to be my BFF.

Where do D-list celebs draw the line? Do they expect to get paid to show up at their own birthday party?  I guess 15 minutes of television fame isn’t enough for these people. They’re milking the publicity cow for all it’s worth.  So please let me know when the next Rock of Love Bus is due into the station. I’ll stroke Bret Michael’s ego and synthetic hair for that kind of cash flow.

This little piggy...got a movie deal

Meet Tucker Max.

You may have heard of him, or even met him. Hopefully not.

Recently, the local paper did a cover story on him, calling him the “most vile man on Earth.” The story made me mad, really mad. It told me all I needed to know about this self-proclaimed a$$hole. It also referred to him as “Pig #1.” So, I decided to take their lead and call him Little Piggy, because, well, he is.

Little Piggy is actually an average-looking guy (and average in lots of other ways, he admits) but, for reasons which mystify me (hence the blog), has a ridiculously popular Web site where he chronicles his immature, irresponsible, womanizing behavior (the Tucker Max Stories!) and has done so for several years now.

l-o-s-e-r

He has admitted to going to an LP convention to find himself a little person for “novelty” reasons. Gross. He also has brilliantly concocted a scale where he rates women, starting at “common-stock pig” all the way up to the very elite  “super hottie” (you KNOW you’ve made it when!) He goes out of his way to ridicule and humiliate these women, including (and especially) those who may be imperfect (overweight, have a disability, etc.) He has also written a book ( “I hope they serve beer in hell“) that is a NY Times best seller.

Anyways, you get the point. Ick. I want to take a shower after just thinking about this creep.

So, why am I even wasting my time (and yours) writing about this loser who at 33 still drinks himself into oblivion, sleeps with countless women and has built a cult-like following (mostly among frat guys, need I say more…) for doing so? You could say that I’m glorifying him and contributing to the problem by giving him any attention at all. Right-o.

I’m actually a player hater and have never been, nor will I ever be, attracted to this kind of man (knowingly). But, I write about him not for that reason, but really to demonstrate a point, two actually…

1)  People like him are fascinating. The ugly are just as interesting as the beautiful. And in this case, I mean the morally ugly, like Little Piggy. Being that I am in PR, I am probably more fascinated than most about what catches people’s attention. As a marketer, you struggle to do just that. It’s so, so hard, but once you’ve got it, you’re in — for  a little while at least. But, back to Little Piggy. He is certainly no poster child for a PR success, BUT he has made  a name for himself … and money, too. So, for that reason, it is an interesting study of human behavior.

For some reason, people like him are revered in our society. We live in a “I want to look away but can’t” society where we more often than not gravitate towards the inappropriate or morally suspect. Paris Hilton – example #1. Girls Gone Wild phenomenon, example #2. The fact that more people know more about the little tape “McSteamy” and his wife made, than about the health care debate in Washington, example #3. People like Little Piggy are followed, emulated and even rewarded.They get movie deals (his opened this weekend in NY and LA, stop what you are doing!) and book tours and blogs dedicated to them … and they make money doing the college circuit (!!).

If people did not find his stories so interesting, he would just be another creepy loser  trolling the bars, skipping out on tabs, and we’d never know about it. But, he has thousands and thousands (probably millions now, thanks to my blog) of readers and fans (half of whom he swears are women) who follow his every move.

2)  Wow, some women are really stupid. Just who are these women anyways? The ones who meet Little Piggy, or worse, seek him out, knowing who he is? Could they be more of a cliche if they tried? In my book, any woman who willingly associates with this douche bag (emphasis on the word willingly, some may not know) is in the same class as those who seek out serial killers in prison. Daddy issues perhaps? Rebellion? These are the ones that Little Piggy refers to as his “Ho-Grab Bag” (awesome).

I found one woman chosen at random from his Web page (yes, I did go on it, but just for research purposes) to prove my point. This one — I’ll call her White Trash Tattoo Girl — actually sought him out on-line and after, well, “spending time” with him, went so far as to broadcast this fact (a la a tattoo!) and in return earned herself — wait for it… yes, the holy grail in the Little Piggy world — a blog on his page all about her (yay!). Let’s see, she’s a bartender (check). Self-admitted “attachment” issues (check). Abandoned by Dad (check, check). I rest my case.  Show me a smart, successful woman with confidence and I guarantee you they have not hung out with this loser. His pick up lines (cannot be published here, but begin with “do you want to….”) would lead only to a slap or a dirty look, followed by perhaps a drink in the face, though I doubt he is worth the price of my martini.

The last thing I will touch on here before I move on to my daily dose of celebrity gossip followed by some MSNBC (yes, I am a hypocrite, but admit it openly), is the term “fratire” that has been recently coined due to the writings of Little Piggy and others.

It’s a fascinating term I think, though a bit cutesy, kind of like “chick lit.” According to a blog by Little Piggy himself on the Huffington Post, “fratire” is “men writing about being men in an honest and authentic way.” Sad … but true? Men being men. Hmmn. Ok, so, I guess to be honest and authentic, you have to humiliate and defile women? Drink until you black out? Buy a breathalyzer from Sharper Image to keep track of how drunk you are… and write about it?

What a man.

Read more at: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tucker-max/pass-the-beer-in-defense-_b_22530.html

Well, here’s some authentic honesty for you Little Piggy. Where you end up, I hope they don’t serve beer, but rather shots o’ STD washed down with  a “I didn’t know she was your sister!” chaser.

Many Members

“Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.”- Romans 15:7

What is this obsession we have to make others be what we want them to be? Then when they’re not, we toss them aside. Hmmm. God believes in individuality and originality. Please read this excerpt from my upcoming book, Saved, but Lost:

Chapter 2 – Act of Uniformity

It is at times difficult to crawl out of the cages of comfort and inoffensively bland, politically correct participation in this world.  This is a special struggle to those who live their entire lives under the regime of grey and neutral colors dictating their every thought pattern and expression of those thought patterns.  Although we are created in an array of brilliant, vibrant colors from one end of the spectrum to the furthest point of the other, we are trained to congregate, operate and function somewhere in the middle.  To be an individual and to express such behavior has become offensive to others; thus, we are taught to conform, configure and consent to confining ordinariness.

Paul, an Apostle and major contributing writer to the New Testament of the Holy Bible, writes to the newly established Christian church in the Roman Empire. “Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you].”  Two hundred centuries prior to my existence Paul admonishes the congregation of a very uniformed and colorless nation of orderlies not to conform to this world of ordinary and common thinking and expression or to its superficial customs.  He challenges the small group to be transformed from that militant mentality by renewing their minds with new ideals and new attitudes that are forbidden by tyrants of protocol and tradition.  Paul then suggests emphatically that this new freedom of thinking, expression and living is good and acceptable and is even the perfect will of God.

Does God actually condone individualism and thinking outside of the box?  If the answer is yes, why then is our society so gung-ho in creating confining conditions enforcing mental dress codes?  In answering the first question, I will say yes according to, but not limited to, the following lines of Paul’s letter to the Roman church, “For as in one physical body we have many parts (organs, members) and all of these parts do not have the same function or use, so we, numerous as we are, are one body in Christ (the Messiah) and individually we are parts one of another [mutually dependent on one another].  Having gifts (faculties, talents, qualities) that differ according to the grace given us, let us use them…”   This unequivocally proposes that our creation is purposed in the colorful differences of experience and functionality to be able to not only celebrate, but also benefit from each others’ unique qualities and talents.

Copyright 2009

A person may look, act, feel, speak, think, respond, worship, operate differently than you. That’s because you may be the foot and they might be the elbow on the body of Christ. We’re all needed, so accept them and give God praise!

- rodney.

Kanye West es el tarado de la semana

Ok, la votación para elegir al tarado de la semana ha terminado y ya tenemos ganador y es nada más y nada menos que Kanye West, lo cual no es ninguna sorpresa, tomando en cuenta que lo que hizo incluso causó que incluso el presidente Barack Obama se burlara de él. En fin, espero que Kanye le haga honor al título y siga arrebatando micrófonos y destruyendo corazones de adolescentes indefensas.

El resto de la votación quedó como sigue:

Espero que estén de acuerdo con los resultados. Ah y MUCHAS GRACIAS por los votos!.

The Hollywood Brothel

As the news flies by us at one hundred miles a minute and in our ever shrinking world we struggle to keep up with all we need to know, we really start to see how little control we have. Have you ever been awakened by the flash of lightning and thunderous boom that seemed right above your house and you think for that moment, well, this is it? It’s the kind of moment that makes you realize how fleeting it all really is.

I want that “Little House On The Prairie” life. When no one cared what hollywood was doing or saying. There would have been no time. There were eggs to gather, cows to milk, fences to mend, and fields to plow. Life was hard, but maybe life is supposed to be hard. Idle hands are the devils workshop.

We’ve all looked at old photos and heard it said no one ever looked happy back then. My brother, the photographer, explained the real reason to me. The process and exposure time back then took so long that it was near impossible to hold a smile that long. So to keep the image from becoming blurry, they simply held a straight face. This makes sense to me, but I still think it wasn’t that they weren’t happy, it was just that life was a bit more serious back then. They were busy surviving, news traveled slower, and the only way the Hollywood air-heads would have made a living back then would have been in a brothel, which is what Hollywood actually is.

Have you ever seen more people sell themselves the way they do in Hollywood? These are the role models and idols of today? Most of them lack any moral decency or ethical decorum, let alone any shred of class. The worst part of it all is the fact that they get paid to be in movies when most of them can’t even act. They have one character they play and they shove into every role they get. These are people, that if they were forced into the real world, wouldn’t have enough skills to get a job asking, ” Do you want to super-size your meal today?”  We celebrate mediocrity and wait for the train wreck for something to watch. How else do you explain the likes of Lindsey, Brittany, and Paris?

P.R.Knuhob

You Killin the Magic Baby...Chill pt1

Oprah puts in work and walks around saving kids in South Africa, so aint nobody hating on whatever mutated bunion that that may be. Still if she weren't "The O", no dude would wanna know about that from the first kickin it.

I know that honesty is often hated on, but ladies, let me try to help you understand something from the general male point of view.

When a dude is first meeting and getting to know you, he doesn’t want to know what physical feature(s) of yours may take away from your “fine-ness”.

Quick story to help you understand.

When I take eat breaks at my “office”, I usually cut on the TV to pollute my mind for 15 minutes or so. Although I have the budget busters package (12 channels w/ BET thrown in for free that fuzzes in and out ever 2 minutes), for some reason as of late, MTV has been showing up

Usually this is only cool-like if you show the other two nipples as well. But Lily Allen just wants to highlight her third. I aint hating.

pretty clear. So to kill time while downing a biscuit I watched some of “Parental Control”. (You know the joint where parents choose an alternative date for their child. Then they watch the date w/ that child’s boyfriend/girlfriend. Then that bf/gf says the most disrespectfully staged things that in real life woulda even made Ghandi slap that fool.) In this particular episode, the dude was rolling w/ the first girl his parents chose for him. She was a semi-fine womens sitting on a lil jiggly-puff who seemed like the naive type to fall for the “guess what I hid in my pants” game. Anyway, he asked her to share a unique feature about her or something and then, this genius of a contestant proceeded to describe the extra fingers she had on each hand giving full description about how they used to have nails on them and everything. Although she now had them lil nyeggas chopped off, she still thought it dope to show him the post-operation nublets and laugh harder when he gave his “I’m glad we didn’t eat first” smile.

End of story.

Now ladies, kill your “Piph, you’re being too superficial” hate real quick b/c if you looked over some of the past womens I gave my time to than you’ll see that raw beauty isn’t the only criteria. (If one of ya’ll is reading this, I’m definitely talking bout the other ones.) You see, I know that there are millions of people w/ the squid hand, extra skin flaps, the shark grill, and other junk as a result of us eating the retarded meat for too long. That’s cool and that’s life. I aint tripping. Also, I even personally wrote about how a confident female is appealing. Still…and I repeat, still…in those initial meeting pop-offs, just leave us in the dark about some of your less favorable physical characteristics. You see, it’s not that we don’t care. It’s more so that initially, we really just don’t wanna know. Scratch that. We just don’t NEED to know. Understand, when that dude meets you he’s more than likely not thinking about meeting your parents. Wey get coerced into that later on. As my fam Bo would say, he just wants to make sure you’re cool and cute enough to hold your hand while walking thorugh the mall. He doesn’t want to think about the extra finger that will be gripping his hand too.

So my advice: Be EZ. All them less than flattering characteristics will come out in due time for both sides. And the crazy thing bout love is that we’ll then somehow/someway find them a cute lil distinct feature about you. But when you drop the “my belly button’s located on my hip” off top, you lose us. Trust, you’re killing the magic baby….chill.

Part II (Probably) Coming Soon…

So what? She's a Trekkie.

*I gotta note that this message is excluding the dudes who are just about cutting action. See, when their (whore)mones getta moving, them ninjas don’t care. You could show them your lil Siamese twin sister popping out your back and they’ll just put a hood over her and consider it a menage trois. (It’s a cold world, baby girl…SMH.)

La Lohan lascia il cinema...E lavora per Ungaro!!

L’attrice americana Lindsay Lohan, 23 anni, sarà consulente artistica per la casa di moda francese Emanuel Ungaro. Il suo compito sarà di rendere il marchio “più cool” e diventare un “mezzo pubblicitario dinamico”, ha affermato l’amministratore delegato di Ungaro, Mounir Moufarrige. Scelta tra una rosa di cinque celebrità, tra cui figuravano anche Madonna e Paris Hilton, la Lohan affiancherà il lavoro della stilista spagnola emergente Estrella Archs. Le due presenteranno la loro prima collezione primavera-estate 2010 il 5 ottobre 2009 a Parigi. Mounir Moufarrige ha sottolineato che la giovane star americana si è guadagnata credibilità, conquistando numerose copertine di riviste di moda, e ha indossato il primo cappotto Ungaro alla giovane età di 13 anni. Mouffarige ha poi ricordato la ragione del licenziamento di Esteban Cortazar, lo stilista britannico-colombiano che aveva collaborato con la casa di moda fino allo scorso luglio: “nelle passate tre stagioni le vendite non sono aumentate . In un momento di crisi non possiamo ancora aspettare quattro o cinque anni”.

Fonte:LE