Oprah puts in work and walks around saving kids in South Africa, so aint nobody hating on whatever mutated bunion that that may be. Still if she weren't "The O", no dude would wanna know about that from the first kickin it.
I know that honesty is often hated on, but ladies, let me try to help you understand something from the general male point of view.
When a dude is first meeting and getting to know you, he doesn’t want to know what physical feature(s) of yours may take away from your “fine-ness”.
Quick story to help you understand.
When I take eat breaks at my “office”, I usually cut on the TV to pollute my mind for 15 minutes or so. Although I have the budget busters package (12 channels w/ BET thrown in for free that fuzzes in and out ever 2 minutes), for some reason as of late, MTV has been showing up
Usually this is only cool-like if you show the other two nipples as well. But Lily Allen just wants to highlight her third. I aint hating.
pretty clear. So to kill time while downing a biscuit I watched some of “Parental Control”. (You know the joint where parents choose an alternative date for their child. Then they watch the date w/ that child’s boyfriend/girlfriend. Then that bf/gf says the most disrespectfully staged things that in real life woulda even made Ghandi slap that fool.) In this particular episode, the dude was rolling w/ the first girl his parents chose for him. She was a semi-fine womens sitting on a lil jiggly-puff who seemed like the naive type to fall for the “guess what I hid in my pants” game. Anyway, he asked her to share a unique feature about her or something and then, this genius of a contestant proceeded to describe the extra fingers she had on each hand giving full description about how they used to have nails on them and everything. Although she now had them lil nyeggas chopped off, she still thought it dope to show him the post-operation nublets and laugh harder when he gave his “I’m glad we didn’t eat first” smile.
End of story.
Now ladies, kill your “Piph, you’re being too superficial” hate real quick b/c if you looked over some of the past womens I gave my time to than you’ll see that raw beauty isn’t the only criteria. (If one of ya’ll is reading this, I’m definitely talking bout the other ones.) You see, I know that there are millions of people w/ the squid hand, extra skin flaps, the shark grill, and other junk as a result of us eating the retarded meat for too long. That’s cool and that’s life. I aint tripping. Also, I even personally wrote about how a confident female is appealing. Still…and I repeat, still…in those initial meeting pop-offs, just leave us in the dark about some of your less favorable physical characteristics. You see, it’s not that we don’t care. It’s more so that initially, we really just don’t wanna know. Scratch that. We just don’t NEED to know. Understand, when that dude meets you he’s more than likely not thinking about meeting your parents. Wey get coerced into that later on. As my fam Bo would say, he just wants to make sure you’re cool and cute enough to hold your hand while walking thorugh the mall. He doesn’t want to think about the extra finger that will be gripping his hand too.
So my advice: Be EZ. All them less than flattering characteristics will come out in due time for both sides. And the crazy thing bout love is that we’ll then somehow/someway find them a cute lil distinct feature about you. But when you drop the “my belly button’s located on my hip” off top, you lose us. Trust, you’re killing the magic baby….chill.
Part II (Probably) Coming Soon…
So what? She's a Trekkie.
*I gotta note that this message is excluding the dudes who are just about cutting action. See, when their (whore)mones getta moving, them ninjas don’t care. You could show them your lil Siamese twin sister popping out your back and they’ll just put a hood over her and consider it a menage trois. (It’s a cold world, baby girl…SMH.)
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