“Hey to all my Perezcious readers, it’s me, Perez Hilton on Procrastibate! I totally rocked a Gaga-tacular and faboosh look last night at the VMAs. I totally don’t know how I didn’t make it on the broadcast at all. Next Year Maybe!! Gaga was so rad, huh? She’s like the martyr of pop culture, right? That fake blood and those outfits were so feirce!! I could totally have sex with a small asian man just thinking about it. Come to think of it, I’d much rather sit on R-Patz’s vampire brow and call K-Stew a whore. Every girl is a whore! Especially if you’re with one of my favorite boys (Zac Efron!!!!)!! JK. You know I love you Paris and Gaga. Promise to keep me relevant?
Those yellow duck boots are so rockin’ right? And a real man wears pink. I topped it off with something crazy. I used my curtains and made a blazer. Gaga would be so proud. My hair is my favorite, though. God!!! I look like a Jewish Apple-D. Wait, I hate the Black-Eyed Peas. They gave me a black eye. Oh, and Fergie is a man!! Much more than I am anyway. Well, ttyl bbs. You can find me at Coco Perez. It’s my new site where i feign any understanding of the world of fashion.”
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