Carl's Jr. Makes Ads that are Sexy, Dumb

First there was Paris. Then there was outrage.

Then there was Audrina…and a little more outrage.

After that, Padma performed cunnilingus on a burger. Which makes sense or something…

And now, Carl’s Jr. and its ad team, Mendelsohn/Zien, have decided to get Kim Kardashian to…eat a salad?

This is a short list of things you have to believe in order to buy in to this ad campaign.

• Paris Hilton loves manual labor and burgers not club nights and cocaine.
• Padma Lakshmi sneaks away from the best food being made on earth to get a Western Burger.
• Audrina has enough brain cells to read off a cue card.
• Kim Kardashian eats salads.

I’m not saying that all of those are untrue…but well…the only one I buy is Kim eating Salads honestly.

This commercial kind of makes me angry because it is so uncreative. Women eat burgers too. If you are looking for a viral hit creativity always trumps T&A. “Sexy girls” and burgers are unrelated.

But that isn’t even the biggest problem I have with this campaign.

What use is going viral if you are a small chain?

A lot of people have seen these ads (which is good) but many of those people don’t live on the West Coast where they could actually go to Carl’s Jr. (which is less good).

I’m sure that Mendelsohn/Zien has hyped all the ‘eyeballs’ on these ads, but most of those eyeballs are not potential customers.

[Via http://vitkunbrands.wordpress.com]

Paris Believed In Santa Until...Get This, 16!

I, mean, I don’t want to sound rude or inconsiderate, but come on! 16, Paris? Wow.

Paris Hilton confessed that she believed in Santa until she was 16 saying:

“I’m like a kid at this time of year and I just can’t wait. I literally believed in Santa Claus until I was around 16! My mom still puts a stocking out for me so I can still pretend.”

Know, contrary to popular belief, I don’t believe Paris Hilton is as dumb or naive as the media portrays her. But for some reason, I’m not finding this “confession” shocking at all. I kind of expect something like this from her.

I admit, I’m kind of with her on wishing Santa was still real. Hell, who wouldn’t want some strange guy breaking into their homes, eating your cookies, and leaving you “presents?”

Door closed.

-Damien

[Via http://closethedoorplease.wordpress.com]

Wie Bill und sein gejammer mir auf die Eier(stöcke) geht

Dieser Typ verdirbt mir langsam echt jeden Tag, jeden Tag auf meinen Newsseiten gurkt er rum und jammert, weil ihn keiner liebt.. -__-

Ich zähle jetzt nicht zu den Fans von Tokio Hotel, ich hasse sie aber auch nicht. Ich finde sie vermarkten sich gut und sind sicher gute Musiker, nur ist es halt nicht meine Musikrichtung.

Eigentlich bin ich durch ein Dreadlocks Video auf Youtube auf ein anderes gestoßen und dann googelte ich es bisschen, rein aus Interesse.
Ich verstehe dieses ganze Trara nicht, wieso macht er so eine Aufregung um eine Freundin?
Er ist nicht der erste Pop/Rock-Star der Probleme hatte sich ne Frau anzuschaffen, ich verstehe diese Heulerei nicht. Ich wollte eigentlich schon vor mehreren Wochen einen Artikel hier drüber schreiben aber inzwischen…. es NERVT! Er nervt.
Ich verstehe ja zwar diese Situation irgendwo trotzdem, diesesd hinsetzten und vor den Medien all seine Probleme auszubreiten find ich nicht gut. Genauso wie die magersuchts Geschichte und die “ich hab mit 15Alk getrunken”.
Inzwischen kann nicht keinen einzigen Tag lang auf meinen Stammseiten Nachrichten lesen ohne, dass TH irgendwo vorkommt. Wenn ich noch vor 1 Monat googlen musste, da ich über die eigentlich genauso viel wusste wie sie über mich, HA! Ergo garnix, wird es mir inzwischen beinahe unter die Nase gerieben.
Wieso veranstaltet er nicht “Bill’s next Girlfriend” oder so und lässt paar Weiber gegen einander kämpfen oder so. Die können sich ja die Augen gegenseitig auskratzen , nein ersthaft Paris Hilton suchte ihre beste Freundin und zig andere suchten auch irgendwen, wieso macht er nicht das selbe kriegt auch mal gleich bissi Publicity dazu.

@Kaulitz und seine Bande, solltest du das jemals lesen, beweg deinen Arsch und tu was für eine Freundin es ging genug Männer auf dieser Welt die, die selben Probleme haben, nur die jammern nicht und bruflicher Erfolg ist jetzt auch nicht gerade abschreckend für Frauen.

xoxo Elene

[Via http://pantsuprincess.wordpress.com]

The Fallout from Fad Pets

Several years ago, Paris Hilton helped start a craze for Chihuahuas. Chihuahuas now swamp California's shelters.

Every couple of years, a new fad pet pops up. You never know what it is going to be, but all of a sudden, you see celebrities with some kind of unusual animal and then you see average people spending exorbitant sums for these creatures. Then, almost predictably, the shelters and sanctuaries start to fill up with these animals. Reality sets in, and their fickle and often ill-informed owners dump them.

This week it was reported that the Chihuahuas are now overrunning California’s shelters. It is actually pretty easy to see why.

In recent years, the Chihuahua has been the fad pet of so many celebrities, not the least of which is Paris Hilton.

“High volume” breeders began to produce as many Chihuahuas as possible, often breeding the smallest and most sickly animals they could find in order to produce dogs that could fit in handbags. (Of course, it’s actually quite hard to mass produce the smallest Chihuahuas, because it is very hard for them to give birth.)

I remember going on youtube and looking at videos of tiny Chihuahua puppies. Their parents were not present in the photos, so one can only assume that they were enjoying their lives as battery-cage breeding stock.

Of course, Chihuahuas have a major fault. It is not that they are all sickly and neurotic and aggressive.

It is that they aren’t treated like the dogs they are. They are more likely treated as babies or fashion accessories, and this treatment turns them into demons.

And as the Chihuahua fad has begun to wane, the dogs that were treated in such a fashion have now matured into two or three year-old maneaters (if Chihuahuas were big enough to become maneaters).

And thus, they have been sent to the shelters.

It’s very sad that so many people want the pets that their favorite celebrities have.

I always thought Paris Hilton was an example of a bad role model.

And in the case of dogs, she definitely is!

***

A few years ago, Paris was into keeping animals that were illegal to keep in California. She had a ferret hanging around in hand bag.

Now ferrets are totally legal in most states in the US, but California does not allow them.

But they are not such unusual pets, so I doubt that she could have started a fad with that animal.

Then Paris upped the ante.

In 2005, she purchased a kinkajou, which she named “Baby Luv.” (A sickening name if you ask me.)

Kinkajous could have gone the way of the Chihuahuas. However, things didn’t turn out quite as well.

Despite the moronically cutesy name that Paris gave to this animal, Baby Luv still had enough of her wild instincts left.

In 2006, Baby Luv bit Paris, and Paris had to go to the emergency room for a tetanus shot.

I had read in several places that California authorities confiscated Paris’s kinkajou. Some of these sources claimed that a kinkajou was a pet monkey. Kinkajous are actually procyonids (the raccoon family.) They have prehensile tails that are very similar to those of many New World monkeys. In some parts of Latin America they are called “monos de noche” (night monkeys), but they are not monkeys at all.

In fact, there are only two members of the order Carnivora that have prehensile tails. The other is the binturong or bear cat, which a type of civet that is also known for smelling like popcorn. No one would mistake this animal for a monkey, and Paris would have hard time putting one into a handbag, which might explain why they have never become fad pets.

Of course, Kinkajous didn’t become fad pets either,  thanks to Baby Luv’s little nip!  Kinkajous are docile animals most of the time, but they hate being woken up in the middle of the day (a trait it would share with Paris). If given free run of the house, they have been known to come into bedrooms and attack people while they sleep. They also cannot be house broken. Kinkajous live in trees, so they just let it rip where ever they are.

I honestly cannot see why anyone would want one as a pet.

***

Now that the Chihuahua fad has started to subside (and the consequences of such buffoonery are coming to the fore), a new handbag creature has suddenly appeared.

We have left the Order Carnivora entirely.

Now it is the Order Erinaceomorpha.

The latest handbag accessory creature is the hedgehog. (And you thought I was talking about moonrats, which are also Erinaceomorphs.)

Now, there are no hedgehogs native to the Americas.

However, in the mid-90’s, pet shops began offering what were called African pygmy hedgehogs. These hedgehogs descended from two interfertile species of African hedgehog and are not technically a true species. They are derived from the four-toed hedgehog (Atelerix albiventris), which is native to Sub-Saharan Africa, and the Algerian hedgehog (Atelerix algirus), which is native to North Africa but is also found in Spain, France, and the Canary Islands, where it was introduced.

Now, these hedgehogs are not terrible pets, but they do have specific requirements. They need large cages in which they can move around, and for a small animal they require lots of exercise. They also have very specific dietary needs, which must be low in fat and high in protein. They also must of chitin in their diets, which they obtain in the wild from the exoskeltons of arthropods.

They also have a host of genetic diseases, which may come from either inbreeding or genetic issues that result from their hybrid ancestry. They are well-known to have various forms of cancer, but they also have a disorder called wobbly hedgehog syndrome, which is thought to be a genetic neurological disorder.

They also have to be kept at a temperature above 70 degrees Fahrenheit or they will hibernate, and as nocturnal animals, they are most active at night.

Is this an animal that belongs in a handbag?

Most certainly not.

And my guess is it won’t be long before the shelters start to fill up with hedgehogs.

***

America has a long history with fad pets. In the 80’s, it was the pot-bellied pig and llama, both of which are domestic animals but have very specific requirements. In the 70’s, it was the ocelot that everyone had to have. In the 60’s,  everyone wanted to keep a big cat (so lots of fools bought leopards, cougars, cheetahs, and even lions and tigers, which then wound up released into the countryside.)

And one cannot forget the fads in domestic dogs. In the nineteenth century, the Newfoundland dog was hawked by every dog dealer on the street. Then bull terriers and collies became the dogs that every middle class family wanted. Today, the bulldog and the aforementioned Chihuahua have experienced an uptick in popularity.

And then I haven’t even mentioned breeds that have been in the AKC’s top ten in registrations for decades, like the German shepherd, the poodle, the Labrador, the beagle, and the golden and Labrador retrievers. These animals seem to get no break at all from a constant fad breeding and mass production.

I think it is time for all of us who care about animals to say no to fads. Not every breed or species is for everyone, and no one should get animal that is illegal to keep in the first place or has specific care requirements that the prospective owner doesn’t know about, is incapable of providing, or simply refuses to provide.

It should also be noted that one should probably should not consider an animal that either considers humans to be prey or possesses lethal venom. Those animals are a bit risky.

Of course, keeping such animals does help thin out the human gene pool.

[Via http://retrieverman.wordpress.com]

Top 11 - Celebrity passwords

It seems like there has been a flurry of hacked celebritard Twitter accounts in recent months – from Britney claiming to worship the devil to Fox News’ account outing Bill O’Riley for his love of the male meat sausage (which I don’t think was really a hack job, just an inside whistle blower). So this go me to thinking what would some other possible celebrity passwords be?

#11. – Kanye West

Password: bestpasswordofalltime #10. – R.Kelly

Password: pissonyou #9. – Rick Astley

Password: nevergonnagiveyouup #8. – Allen Iverson

Password: putaringonit #7. – Dave Chappelle

Password: WTFisjuice? #6. – Chuck Norris

Password: n/a #5. – Paris Hilton

Password: 123456 #4. – Jerry Seinfeld

Password: what’sthedealwithpasswords #3. – Rick James

Password: fuckyocouch #2. – Stevie Wonder

Password:  ..:..:::.:….:.::…:….:::::..:..:.. #1. – Tyra Banks

Password: Forehead…(“ERROR! PASSWORD TOO BIG!”)

Other great passwords:

Al Gore: Ishouldhavewon
Gary Coleman: almost4′10
Ciara: WishIwasBeyonce
Rachel Uchitel: easiest1milever
Taylor Swift: thankyoukanye$$$$
Kelly Clarkson: nomnomnom
Tiger Woods: FML
Wayne Brady: amIgonnahavetoslapabitch?
Lady Gaga: tuckback

Slashdot It!

[Via http://thesegoto11.wordpress.com]

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[Via http://americashasvoted.wordpress.com]

When Casting Paris Hilton, Add Lobster and Vodka To Your Budget

Socialite/actress/businessperson/heiress/recently-disappeared Paris Hilton reportedly asked for a little bit more than money when she flew in for a one-day shoot on the set of action-comedy The Other Guys:  she also allegedly provided a three-page rider of conditions and requests, including live lobsters that could be prepared on the spot, and a bottle of Grey Goose vodka.  The movie, starring Will Ferrell, Mark Wahlberg, Samuel L. Jackson (whom all movies contractually must include), The Rock, and other people more famous than Paris, will feature a short cameo of Ms. Hilton, playing herself.  (Not with herself—it’s not like she’s Carrie Prejean—just playing herself.  It is possible the former would have justified the cost, had the world not already seen her on-screen in such compromising positions.  By the way, I was also going to make a joke about “three-page rider,” but I don’t know if they use pages in the movie business anymore.)

Celebrities aren’t known for their subdued behaviors and tastes.  Cher supposedly requires an extra room to store her wigs.  Jennifer Lopez demands that damn near everything be in white, and has what seems to me to be a pretty extensive list of food and drink requests.  Iggy Pop’s rider is enormous, ridiculous, hilarious, and in large part tongue-in-cheek, but you can’t blame the man for trying.  Van Halen stipulated that all brown M&Ms be picked out of their candy bowls; using specious reasoning, this and this alone prevented stage collapses that have killed attendees at other performers’ concerts.  In comparison, I guess Paris’ wish-list doesn’t seem so outlandish.  But it’s Paris Hilton.  For one day.  The Grey Goose is understandable, and my be so that her lackeys can tolerate her for hours per day.  But Paris also demands live sacrifice, the boiling of creatures for her gustatory delight, so that she may channel the talents of the ancient Greek playwrights and middle-English thespians.  To bring you The Other Guys, which “stars” Damon Wayans, Jr.  That’s almost enough to make me a vegetarian.

Are there instances in which an actor/actress/performer has had such requests turned down?  Was that a deal breaker?  Did Jamie Kennedy ask to have a Gulfstream IV at his disposal so he could pee in two oceans in one day?  Is that why we don’t have Malibu’s Most Wanted 2 yet, you cheap, selfish monsters? It looks like when you achieve a certain level of awesomeness, you can ask for and probably get whatever you want.  Is this something that takes place during contract negotiations?  Or something they pop on you after the papers are signed: “Oh, I forgot: I also require a different nubile, 18-year-old blonde Brazilian beach volleyball player each morning to satisfy my carnal desires.”  “Of course, Mr. Pacino.  Whatever you wish, we shall make it so.  Tattoo preferences?”

[Via http://thebrowntweedsociety.com]

Panama City Beach - PCB biz group: Paris Hilton, Kardashians here in spring?

PANAMA CITY BEACH — New details are emerging from a co-op of Panama City Beach businesses about how the group plans to market Spring Break in 2010 without help from the Bay County Tourist Development Council.

Panama City Beach can’ decide what it wants to be when it grows up.

A recently released e-brochure by the co-op promises participating businesses a marketing campaign that will create a “buzz” on college campuses for the 18-24 student-age demographic, including an MTV tie-in.

The marketing effort will include the use of social networking sites Twitter and Facebook, a Web site separate from the site operated by the TDC and the endorsement of cast members from the MTV reality show “The Real World.”

Criticism of TDC’s marketing partnership this year with mtvU, another MTV venture, was one reason the TDC dropped its college Spring Break funding for 2010, a move that led to the creation of the private co-op. Some Panama City Beach residents became upset this year that links between MTV and Spring Break drew the wrong type of media attention to a tourist destination struggling to remake its image.

TDC Executive Director Dan Rowe said this week he had no “trepidation” the co-op’s college Spring Break efforts would upset the council’s plans to market Panama City Beach as a year-round family destination.  Our Panama City Beach Condo at Celadon Beach Resort  www.bestpanamacitybeachcondo.com  is a year round family destination.

The co-op’s marketing effort for 2010 promises weekly celebrity appearances throughout March that will include pop personalities such as Paris Hilton and stars from the television shows “The Hills” and “Keeping up with the Kardashians,” among others.

Despite the co-op’s effort to remain a private endeavor, however, organizers have asked the TDC for funding help, including advertising on its new Web site.

So far, the TDC has agreed only to provide a staff member in an advisory capacity to help monitor the co-op’s site, www.visitpanamacitybeach.com, for “risque and poor taste.”

The group is asking interested Panama City Beach businesses to participate at a basic or premium level: $3,000 and $7,500 for hotels and condos; $1,250 and $5,000 for bars and night clubs; and $750 to $1,500 for retail and attractions.

[Via http://jerryeyler.wordpress.com]

WOOPS, FASHION IS THE WORST

Genocide is so hot right now

So some airline did a fashion photo shoot for their in-flight magazine at the Holocaust Memorial in Berlin (Never Forget To Look Sexy At Gas Chamber After-Parties?). There are obviously a lot of things one could say about this, mostly along the lines of “This is the worst.” But can anyone say they’re genuinely surprised?

Let’s put this latest travesty by the fashion industry in perspective. Remember this?

Not even a month ago.

“What am I doing? Oh, nothing, just glamorizing a hateful practice steeped in the history of colonial dehumanization of an entire race of people. You know, hate crimefashion.”

Before that, there was the exploitation of poverty-stricken children as fetishized authenticity props, otherwise known as “the Slumdog Millionaire phenomenon.”

And not like fashion even needs all of these strikes against it to be the worst. Just look at the awful human beings it creates.

Exhibit A:

Fashion - turn to the left

Exhibit B:

"Fashion - turn to the right"

Exhibit C:

"We are the goon squad / And we're coming to town."

Case closed. Shut it down, people. Shut it all down.

[Via http://theyetiblog.wordpress.com]

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[Via http://americashasvoted.wordpress.com]

Paris is Stopping Doug From Seeing Brody

Perhaps Paris Hilton took the whole Brody Jenner Bromance thing a little too seriously.  Either that or she’s a total control freak if the following is true.

Reports say Paris Hilton is stopping Doug Reinhardt from seeing his friends, including his former Hills co-star Brody Jenner.

Doug hasn’t seen Brody since he reconciled with Paris in August and “insists their friendship is now over”.  Jenner told Closer Magazine:

“We used to be best friends, now I never see him. Some people are so involved in relationships they lose their other friends. Partners come and go your friends are there for you always. I’m done. Paris has taken him away.”

Children Behave! That is what they say when we're together

My head actually hurts tonight from trying sop up all this fine music I’ve been jamming.

Coral and I went to see the movie Pirate Radio on Friday night.  A very groovy film about the years of pirate radio in the UK in the mid 60s.

The film was entertaining and as a broadcaster, mind boggling.  How could radio stations in the 60s have been so rad, but you punch up an oldies station today and no one is unzipping their pants on the air or broadcasting live on remote from a deflowering of a virgin?  (heck why isn’t my show doing that now?)

The movie had an insane soundtrack of mostly 60s classics.  One song that I downloaded after the film that is changing my world is Tommy James and The Shondells – “Crimson and Clover.”

This guy was a capital R rock star.  Collapses on stage in 1970 because of a drug overdose, is pronounced dead medically… and uh, wakes up?  Continues to rock?  Priceless.

The man has an autobiography coming out in 2010 called “Me, the Mob, and the Music: One Helluva Ride with Tommy James and the Shondells.”  Put that on my list of books that must be read.

If you’re thinking, “sure Jeremy, I’ll bite.”

Download “Crimson and Clover” for sure, but also consider “Mony Mony” or “I Think We’re Alone Now.”  You recognize those titles, because they were covered in the 80s, but the originals are mighty.  “Hany Panky” is kinda quirky fun too, and the song that shot Tommy to rock and roll fame.

I better pick-up my lotto max ticket this week.  After I win I’ll be buying one of those second (or third) rate AM stations in Vancouver, doing a ton of drugs and spinning vinyl records on a radio console that looks like it from the set of Star Trek.

***

In other news, what is up with that chick Ke$ha?  She is dominating top 40 right now.  Why do we all love her?  Oh right, she puked in Paris Hilton’s closet when she was on the Simple Life.

Well done cute popster, well done.

Go with yourself.

11/14-PCW Extreme Political TV on P-SPAN

PCW Extreme Political TV
Agora Theater
Cleveland, OH
Saturday November 14th
Host: Johnny Suave

Suave reviews the PCW Rankings…

PCW WORLD CHAMPION: ‘Hollywood A-Lister’ Stone Chism (Progressive Alliance)
PCW TELEVISION CHAMPION: SNAFU (Independent)
CONTENDERS:
#1- Starz N. Stripes (Progressive Alliance)
#2- Khalid-El (Axis of Evil)
#3- Bird ‘The Mark’ Ridfych (Independent)
#4- ‘The King of Old School Gimmicks’ Baron Von Munchke (Old School Kings)
#5- Newt Tron Bomb (American Patriots)
#6- American Trucker (American Heartland Coalition)

PCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS:  ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido and Starz N. Stripes (Progressive Alliance)
PCW TAG TEAM TELEVISION CHAMPIONS: Big Oil and Big Electric (Public Utilities)
CONTENDERS:
#1- A. Tom Bomb and Hy Drogen Bomb (American Patriots)
#2- Midnite Rockin’ Xpress- Bobby Ricky Michaels/Marty Gibson-Lane (Old School Kings)
#3- Jack and Bull Schett (Ron Paul’s New Libertarian Army)
#4- NCISF’d
#5- Extreme Weather Network-Steve Abrams/Mike Bettis (EWN)
#6- The Goatbusters (Island of Misfit Wrestlers)

Tonight on PCW Extreme Political TV:

Blue Dog D and RINO vs. Newcomer Shaun Phillips and T-Bag (American Patriots)

Raving Rednecks Locke and Loade (American Patriots) vs. Island of Misfit Wrestlers

PCW Champion Stone Chism (Progressive Alliance) vs. Jobber the Hut (Island of Misfit Wrestlers)

American Trucker (American Heartland Coalition) vs. Baron Von Munchke w/Dr. Bill (Old School Kings)

Suave: “Here comes PCW’s latest signee, Shaun Phillips.  Phillips as you might know was one half of the DWF Tag Team Champions USXF with Amy Mason who just signed with Missouri Valley Wrestling.  American Patriots Leader Eric Cantor hopes Phillips can help spearhead their resurgance.  We’ll find out starting tonight as Phillips and T-Bag take on the Bipartisan Dream Team Blue Dog D and RINO.”

MATCH #1
Shaun Phillips and T-Bag (American Patriots)
vs.
Blue Dog D (Progressive Alliance) and RINO (American Patriots)

…Suave: “Phillips makes the tag to T-Bag.  T-Bag in…and OW!  RINO greets him with a chop.  T-Bag takes a step back.   Mule kick.  RINO didn’t see that coming!  OH!  T-Bag just kicked RINO in the groin!  RINO bent over in obvious pain.  He makes it to his corner and brings in Blue Dog D.  Blue Dog D in.  He runs the ropes…slingshot bodyblock!  T-Bag slow to get up.  Blue Dog D goes top rope.  INCOMING!  SHOOTING STAR PRESS!  Blue Dog D for the win…1 …2…NO!  T-Bag kicks out.  Unbelievable!  T-Bag slowly gets up.  Blue Dog D with a waistlock…now a waistlock suplex!  Blue Dog D covers…1…2…AGAIN!  T-BAG JUST KICKED OUT!  Blue Dog D is pissed.  He thought he had him…he throws T-Bag through the ropes to the floor.  RINO!  RINO’S CHOKING T-BAG WITH A MICROPHONE CABLE!  Here comes Blue Dog D…FALLING SPLASH!  GOOD THING RINO GOT OUT OF THE WAY IN TIME.  SHAUN PHILLIPS OVER!  BLUE DOG D GETS BACK INTO THE RING!  GORE!  GORE!  PHILLIPS FORGOT ABOUT RINO AND HE JUST BLASTED HIM WITH A GORE!”  RINO takes T-Bag and heaves him back into the ring.  Suave: “Phillips still down after taking a Gore from RINO.  Blue Dog D with a running lariat and that bounces T-Bag hard off the mat.  Blue Dog D walks around him…he’s measuring  him…”  Blue Dog D pulls T-Bag up and tucks his head under his armpit.  He hoists him up, and then falls back onto the floor.  Suave: “FILIBUSTER BUSTER!  FILIBUSTER BUSTER! COVER!  DAVEY KEELS COUNTS…1 …2 …3!“

WINNERS: BLUE DOG D and RINO in 9:43

Suave: “BLUE DOG D AND RINO MAKE THEIR RETURN TO PCW AND THE BIPARTISAN DREAM TEAM ARE VICTORIOUS!  BACK WITH MORE PCW AFTER THIS…”

________________________________
_______COMMERCIAL BREAK_____

 
Missouri Valley Wrestling Association

MVWA 14 from Carbondale, Illinois

Replay of Miss USA-Jill Berg Match from DWF Golden Dreams

MVW Champion Miss USA speaks

‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Chick’ Tessa Mason and Caroline Kelly
vs.
Sabrina James and Alicia Rowe
vs.
Katie Collins and ‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas

The Star Trekkies
vs.
Vatican Vice Squad
vs.
VIP Brin and Sky

Corrina Romanov
vs.
American Pi

‘Trailer Park Skater Girl’ Tanya Hardy
w/The White Trash Posse and Trailer Park Barbi
vs.
Weathergirl Hallie

After a replay of last week’s MVW/DWF Women’s unification match, Miss USA has some observations to make.  The overriding question is will the 49-1 Jill Berg come to Missouri Valley Wrestling to continue her pursuit of excellence?

Two three team tag team matches highlight the card.  The first match sees former DWF newcomers Amy aka…’Extreme Pizza Delivery Chick Tessa’ Mason and Caroline Kelly taking on former PCW wrestlers Sabrina James (formerly Mercedes in PCW) and Alicia Rowe (former Porsche Lexus) and former 3 time PCW Women’s Champion Katie Collins and the “Texas Cowgirl” Haley Dallas.

Match two sees The Star Trekkies meeting up against the always tough Vatican Vice Squad and VIP Brin and Sky.

Corrina Romanov begins another quest for gold as she meets up with the uber intelligent American Pi and Weathergirl Hallie also starts the long climb up with a match against ‘Trailer Park Skater Girl’ Tanya Hardy.

All this and more Sunday night on MVWA 14.

_________________________

Every Monday Night from our friends at High Octane Wrestling

Agganis Arena, Boston, MA
November 16, 2009

Johnny Otaku v Black Mamba
The referee for this match is Romeo Ward, and the rules are Standard Match.

Doozer v Scottywood
The referee for this match is Frank Tsonga, and the rules are Standard Match.

Mario Maurako v Jason Midnight
The referee for this match is Romeo Ward, and the rules are Standard Match.

Shane Reynolds and Erites Kallisten v Graystone and Kirsta Lewis
The referee for this match is Frank Tsonga, and the rules are Tag Team.

“Perfect” Paul Paras v Aceldama©
The referee for this match is Romeo Ward, and the rules are Submission Match.
______________________________
______________________________

Suave: “Friday night, a shocking and disturbing incident took place at a Sarah Palin book signing…”

SARAH PALIN BOOK SIGNING
Suave (voiceover): Palin was signing books when this happened.”  Three masked men barged their way to the front of the line.  The first man removed his mask.  Suave (voiceover): “THAT’S RIGHT!  IT’S LEVI JOHNSTON…”  Johnston takes one of the books and clubs Palin in the side of the head with it.  Then the other two take their masks off.  Suave: “…AND MSNBC’S KEITH OLBERMANN AND HIS PALIN-HATING SIDEKICK SHANNYN MOORE! (if you don’t know who Shannyn Moore is- click here)”  Olbermann and Moore pile a stack of Palin’s book ‘Going Rogue’ on the table.  Johnston pushes a dazed Palin to the floor.  Then he reaches into his pocket and lights a match.  A huge fireball appears and torches the books.  Suave: “THAT’S RIGHT!  LEVI JOHNSTON, WHO’S CASHING IN ON THE ‘HATE-PALIN’ SENTIMENTS AMONG THE LEFT, USED A FIREBALL AND SET HER BOOKS ON FIRE!  OLBERMANN, WHO FLATLY REFUSES TO APPEAR IN A PCW ARENA BEFORE EVERYTIME HE DOES, HE GETS CHOKE-SLAMMED BY THE EXTREME EQUALIZER WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT, KICKS AWAY AT PALIN WHILE MOORE, WHO SEEMS TO HAVE AS MUCH OF A GRADE SCHOOL CRUSH ON PALIN AS OLBERMANN DOES, JOINS IN!”

*The opening riffs to Def Leppard’s ‘Rock, Rock Til You Drop play*

Suave: “THAT’S RIGHT!  IT’S THE EXTREME EQUALIZER- WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT!”  A lane opens up among the people in line and WTF races to the table.  Olbermann’s eyes light up when he sees WTF coming and he quickly scurries out the back.  Moore also makes a quick exit leaving Levi Johnston to face the Extreme Equalizer.   WTF grabs him by the throat…lifts…and WHAM! Right through the burning table.  Crowd in line: “PCW!…PCW!…PCW!…” 

Suave: “Somehow, I don’t think we’ve heard the last of the Johnston-Palin feud.”

MATCH #2
“The Raving Rednecks” Locke and Loade (American Patriots)
vs.
Mr. Jaundice and Captain Nausea w/Movie Classic (Island of Misfit Wrestlers)
Gary Locke and Earl Loade hit the ring as Toby Keith’s “Who’s Your Daddy” plays.  Suave: “THE RAVING REDNECKS ARE BACK IN PCW TO TAKE ANOTHER CRACK AT WINNING THE PCW TAG TEAM TITLES!”

…Suave: “…ELBOW DROP BY MR. JAUNDICE FROM THE TOP TURNBUCKLE!  WE COULD BE ON THE VERGE OF SEEING AN UPSET?”  Mr. Jaundice goes up again.  Locke nails a ropeflip hiptoss.  Suave: “LOCKE GOT HIM WITH THE HIP TOSS.  MR. JAUNDICE SCRAMBLES TO THE CORNER AND TAGS IN CAPTAIN NAUSEA.  Captain Nausea in…he whips Locke to the corner. Mr. Jaundice gets a cheap shot from behind.  Captain Nausea sets up…elbowdrop.   Mr. Jaundice runs back in…he drops the leg Locke.  Gary Loade’s had enough.  He’s in.   HE DDT’S  CAPTAIN NAUSEA TO THE MAT! LOCKE AND LOADE HAVE HIM UP…HERE IT COMES…WHAM!  FOUR-D REDNECK DEATHBLAST!  LOCKE COVERS…1 …2 …3!”

WINNER: ‘THE RAVING REDNECKS’ LOCKE AND LOADE in 6:32

Suave: “LOCKE AND LOADE WITH THE WIN OVER THE ISLAND OF MISFIT WRESTLERS!  MORE PCW AFTER THIS.”
________________________________
_______COMMERCIAL BREAK_____

Every Thursday Night from our friends at High Octane Wrestling

The Best Arena, Chicago IL
November 19, 2009 12:00 AM

Bobbinette “Queen B” Carey v Chris Kostoff
The referee for this match is Rick “Even” Stevens, and the rules are HOFC Bout.

Justin Decent v Rush Marconi
The referee for this match is Joel Hortega, and the rules are Standard Match.

David Black© v Dawn McGill
The referee for this match is Matt Boettcher, and the rules are Standard Match.

“The Headhunter” Michael DeNucci© v DavoteK
The referee for this match is Rick “Even” Stevens, and the rules are HOFC Bout.

Jatt Starr v Ethan Cavanaugh
The referee for this match is Matt Boettcher, and the rules are Standard Match.

Max Kael© v Chris CK
The referee for this match is Joel Hortega, and the rules are Standard Match.
_______________________

Dream Wrestling Federation

Bishop Steele vs. Force

Adrien Cochrane vs. Daymare

Remy Leroux vs. Marshall

Upton Osgood vs. Zero

Company Policy vs. eGG Bandits vs.
Brothers of Prophecy vs. chicKEN Chokers
Non- Title 8 Man Tag

Lupin Cy vs. Jay Price vs. 501
Triple Threat

___________________________
___________________________

Suave: “Speaking of Dawn McGill.  She once again took High Octane Wrestling’s ICON Champion Max Kael to the limit this past Thursday night.

(courtesy of High Octane Wrestling)
REPLAY: ICON Champion Max Kael vs. Dr. Annabel Lecktor
…Rubbing her eyes Lecktor starts getting angry as she walks over to the timekeepers and grabs a steel chair as she slides back into the ring and goes after Max with the chair, who ducks the swing and takes Lecktor down with a drop kick to her knees.  But instead of continuing his offense, Max again tries to rip the mask off Lecktor.  She fights him off once again and hits him hard with a backfist which allows her to use the steel chair, cracking Max across the skull.  She discards it as she grabs Max’s leg and goes for the pin.

Joe Hoffman: Max tried again for that mask and he ate that steel chair as a result.  But we have no referee to make the count.

Suddenly we see HOFC referee Rick Stevens start to sprint down and slide into the ring as he starts to make the count for the pinfall.

1……2…….NO!!!

Max Kael is able to kickout as Stevens gets up from the mat and seems a bit lost inside a ring as a stunned Max gets back up to his feet and Lecktor goes for another spinning heel kick which this time does connect with Kael as she quickly locks in the testicular claw on Max as Stevens isn’t really sure if this is a legal move as he asks Max if he wants to submit.

Joe Hoffman: A quite unique submission move by Lecktor as she has a firm grip on Max’s…..Max’s…..

Benny Newell: BALLS……I dropped my shot glass….what’s going on in the ring?

Max seems to be in immense pain as he pulls himself over to the ropes slowly as Lecktor tries and pull Max back, which puts even more strain on a certain area of his body.  Max continues to pull himself across the mat as he is able to grab onto the bottom rope as Stevens calls for Lecktor to release the hold and this time Max rolls out of the ring, realizing that he was very close to loosing the match.

Benny Newell: Did she just have his junk clamped in her hand?  Damn!  I usually have to pay to see shit like that.

Joe Hoffman: Glad you have decided to rejoin the match Benny.

Max storms around the ring before he slides back in and goes after Lecktor who ducks a wild punch and counters with a martial arts kick that Max is also able to duck as he drops to his knees and goes for a low blow on Lecktor which connects but has little affect on the lower female anatomy of Lecktor who smiles and shakes her head as she knees Kael in the head and goes for another pinfall on the ICON champion.

1……2……..3….

Joe Hoffman: Do we have an upset?

Max lifts his leg up onto the ropes as Stevens stops the count as Lecktor for a second thinks she has won the match before Stevens yells out “NO!” and the match continues on.  Lecktor is down messing around as she lifts Max up from the mat and places his head between her legs and lefts him up onto her shoulders.

Joe Hoffman: A great showing of Lecktor’s strength lifting Max Kael who looks a good 50 pounds heavier then her.

Benny Newell: You sure I’m not paying to see this?

Lecktor has Max up in the air and Max again tries to pull the mask of Lecktor off….but realizing that he is about to be dropped to the mat he delivers a couple quick punches to Lecktor which allows him to escape from the powerbomb she was attempting and connect with a jawbreaker that dazes the masked female and sends her down to the mat for a moment as she pulls herself back up to her feet.

Joe Hoffman: I don’t like where this is heading for Lecktor….Max has turned his attention from the mask…

Benny Newell: Did I mention you should be wearing a mask instead of her yet?

Joe Hoffman: Yes….you mentioned that.

Benny Newell: Good….

Benny tosses another shot back, as Max stares at the dazed Lecktor for a few brief seconds before Max connects another European uppercut and then he hooks her neck and hit the lightning spiral on her which lays her out in the middle of the ring as he goes for the cover that Rick Stevens slides in to count.

Joe Hoffman: The Singularity….thanks for coming Lecktor.

1………2………..3…………..

Stevens calls for the bell as Max’s music plays but Max is not concerned with the victory he has just gotten or celebrating it.

Bryan McVay: The winner of this match in 11 minutes and 39 seconds….MAX KAEL!!!

Max just stares at Lecktor as instead of getting up from the mat he reaches over to Lecktor and with her out he reaches for her mask and slowly removes it from her face, revealing that it is not Annabel Lecktor…..

Joe Hoffman: Dawn McGill?!?  Dawn was really the girl under the Lecktor mask.  For the second week in a row she pushed Max to the limit, nearly defeating the ICON champion.

Shocked that the woman under the mask is Dawn, Max slowly get back to his feet as Dawn starts to stir on the mat.  Max continues staring in shock as she climbs back up to her feet, starting too look back at Max Kael, who is surprisingly looking at her with a look of respect, maybe for pushing him to the edge for the second week in a row.

Joe Hoffman: Well it seems McGill wanted to get Max Kael’s attention and it seems with her showing tonight that she has gotten that and dare I say some respect from the ICON champion?

‘Hollywood A-Lister’ Stone Chism is in the ring with the Skanky Rich Bimbos Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan.  Chism: “Okay.  Why would you want to watch a fake icon when you can see a REAL icon right here…me.”  Chism then parades the SRB around and then wants to know who the next person is who’s going to do the right thing and ‘lay down in the ring for him?’ 

Movie Classic comes out with the 375 pound Jobber the Hut lumbering right behind him.  Suave: “Jobber the Hut is good for about a half a minute…after that…forget it.”  

MATCH #3- Non-Title Match
PCW Champion ‘Hollywood A-Lister’ Stone Chism w/The Skanky Rich Bimbos
vs.
Jobber the Hut (Island of Misfit Wrestlers)(The bell rings)  Suave: “There’s the bell.  Chism is goofing off…not a good idea in the first thirty seconds of the match…JOBBER HOOKS HIM IN A FULL NELSON!”  Jobber rams Chism into the corner turnbuckle over and over.  Suave: “CHISM IN TROUBLE…COVER HIM!  COVER HIM!”  Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan hit the ring.  Suave: “NO!  Wait…I mean…YES!”  Hilton and Lohan get Jobber’s attention and then whip their tops off.  Suave: “WARDROBE MALFUNCTION!  WARDROBE MALFUNCTION!”  Chism pulls himself up.  Suave: “OHHHH!  CHISM GOES LOW AND JOBBER IS BENT OVER.  CHISM FLOATS AROUND…NECKBREAKER!  COVER!”  Davey Keels counts. …1 …2 …3!

WINNER: ‘HOLLYWOOD A-LISTER’ STONE CHISM in :49

Suave: “AGAIN, THANKS TO THE SKANKY RICH BIMBOS, STONE CHISM GETS ANOTHER WIN IN PCW!”

PCW NEWSLINE w/ GINA RAMSEY
Gina: “PCW CEO Barack Obama again fends off questions about his association with jailed High Octane Wrestling owner Lee Best.  Anita Dunn and her A.D.D. crew continue to try to change the conversation to Fox News by blaming Fox’s association with the American Patriots for fueling the controversy.  But as Best’s trial in January looms in the future, could the PCW CEO be drawn in?

“In other news, Lou Dobbs leaves CNN.  Rumor has it that he could become a spokesperson for the American Heartland Coalition.  The AHC refused all comment on the matter.

“University of New Mexico soccer player Elizabeth Lambert has been offered a contract by PCW. 

No word on whether she’s accepted the offer.”

UPCOMING PCW EVENTS:
11/18- PCW House Show
11/21- PCW Extreme Political TV on P-SPAN
12/2- PCW House Show
12/5- PCW Extreme Political TV on P-SPAN
12/9- PCW House Show
12/12- PCW/MVW Night of Champions
12/20- WWR ‘Christmas in the Caribbean’ Supershow in Puerto De Macoris
12/26- PCW Year End in Review
______________________
______________________

The crowd boos as Dr. Bill strolls down the aisle.  Suave: “Dr. Bill has kept a low profile since his claim that Dr. Annabel ‘The Cannibal’ Lecktor bit off his arm was proved to be a hoax.  But what is up with the steel bracing and stuff on his arm?”  Dr. Bill: “SHUT UP!”  He raises his arm up.  Dr. Bill: “DO YOU SEE WHAT THAT CANNIBAL DR. LECKTOR DID TO ME?”  Suave: “Ah…no she didn’t.”

Charlene Ann Beckworth in the ring to announce the Main Event.  Charlene Ann: “Weighing in at 233 pounds, from Berlin, Germany, accompanied by Dr. Bill, Baron Von Munchke!  His opponent…”  Von Munchke grimaces when the crowd boos him.

*Bobby Bare’s Tequila Sheila begins to play*

Suave: “And here comes the American Trucker being led to the ring by Tequila Sheila.”

Pour me another Tequila Sheila,
Take off that red satin dress
I cross the border and I beat the dealer
For all the damn gold in Juarez.
I feel like old Pancho Villa, Sheila
And sure could use a friend (I got Pesso to spend)
So pour me another Tequilla Sheila
And lay down n’love me again.
Though I can tell you about it
But don’t mind my gun by the bed
I feel kind of naked without it
And it eases the fear in my head.
Just pass me the salt n’the lemon
Bend down n’blow out the light
I never had trusted the woman
But Sheila I’ll trust you tonight.
Chorus:
Pour me another Tequila Sheila
Take off that red satin dress
I cross the border and I beat the dealer
Dor all the damn gold in Juarez.
I feel like old Pancho Villa, Sheila
And sure could use a friend (I got Pesso to spend)
So pour me another Tequilla Sheila,
And lay down n’love me again..

Charlene Ann: “…weighing in at 225 pounds, from Gary, Indiana, a member of American Heartland Coalition, accompanied by Tequila Sheila, American Trucker!!!”

MAIN EVENT:
‘The King of Old School Gimmicks’ Baron Von Munchke w/Dr. Bill (Old School Kings)
vs.
American Trucker w/Tequila Sheila (American Heartland Coalition)
…Suave: “Von Munchke with a short lariat and puts the American Trucker  to the mat.  Von Munchke slides down and tries to grapevine American Trucker’s arm.  Trucker pulls the arm back and slides away.  Both men now circling each other.  They lock up.  American Trucker shoves Von Munchke back…spinning back kick on Von Munchke!   American Trucker with a waistlock…belly to belly suplex!  He covers…1 …2…NO!  Von Munchke slips out!   Kick to the face by American Trucker.  Von Munchke pushes back.  He pins American Trucker against the ropes and…CHOKES HIM WITH HIS FOREARM!  TEQUILA SHEILA UP ON THE APRON…SHE GETS PUSHED OFF BY VON MUNCHKE.  FIREMAN’S CARRY BY VON MUNCHKE…AND HE SLAMS HIM TO THE GROUND!  NOW DR. BILL UP ON THE APRON WITH HIS…BIONIC ARM…whatever…HE SWINGS…TRUCKER DUCKS!”  Von Munchke gets the full force of the steel enhanced punch.  American Trucker with new life…slingshot elbow drop to Von Munchke.  American Trucker rains down punches now.   Headscissors takeover on Von Munchke.  Von Munchke lifted up…JAKE BRAKE!  JAKE BRAKE!  American Trucker covers…1 …2 …3!”

WINNER: AMERICAN TRUCKER in 11:55

Suave: “AMERICAN TRUCKER WINS AND BARON VON MUNCHKE IS PISSED!  HE’S GLARING AT DR. BILL AND I WOULDN’T WANT TO BE IN HIS SHOES RIGHT NOW!  WE’LL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK!”

———————————

More political news:

More on obamacare: devils in the details
A Tale of Two Cities
Two Sets of Justice
Old Yellers

I Am Not Tara Reid.

Hello Readers,

I’ve got two pretty important questions for you to ponder today.

1. Is it considered spousal abuse to punch a husband for saying his wife reminds him of Tara Reid?

and

1. Is finding out your husband thinks you are similar to Tara Reid grounds for divorce?  

Let’s take a look back, friends, at how the story began . . .

It was a beautiful autumn day in Pennsylvania.  The husband and I were driving in the car to do a little grocery shopping.  Folks were raking the leaves from their yards.  Children were playing football in the school yard.  Butterflies were holding wings as they flew away.  Squirrels were kissing. 

Then, the husband and I made a left turn down a dark path.  I’m not quite sure why or how, but we started talking about celebrities. And then we started comparing people we know to celebrities, and eventually, the conversation got around to us.  I know what you’re thinking — Don’t do it!  — But we did.

I asked the husband who he thought I was most like in the celebrity world.  I admit I set myself up for the horrendous revelations that ensued, but it never occurred to me that of ALL the celebrities in THE ENTIRE WORLD, my husband would compare me to . . . TARA REID!  EE! EE! EE! EE! (Psycho music).

So, I asked him, “Exactly in what way?  Exactly.”  And he responded that he’d recently read an article about her, and she reminded him of me.

Why?  WHY?  WHYYYYYYYYYYY?

And then he said, “I thought you’d like that.”

Why?  WHY?  WHYYYYYYYYYYY?

Then I thought maybe just maybe he was kidding.  “No,” he responded.

But I guess the real question is Is this really how he sees me?

What I know about Tara Reid

1. She was in American Pie and a couple of other movies, but she hasn’t been cast in a major role in four or five years.  By most accounts, her career is over.
2. She’s a big partier (aka a big drunk).
3. She was friends with Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan.
4. She’s a fallen star who is the butt of many alcohol-related and bad-plastic-surgery jokes.
5. She’s blond and looks/acts perpetually stoned/drunk.

So then I thought maybe he doesn’t really know who Tara Reid is.  Maybe he’s thinking of someone else, but thinks it’s Tara Reid.  When I was in college, The X-Files was the rage, and guys used to say I looked like Scully.  Then when Kate Walsh joined Grey’s Anatomy, folks said I looked like Addison.  Aside from the red hair, I don’t think I look like either one, but TARA REID?   I don’t get it. 

And then I made another mistake.  As I was trying to wrap my brain around this idea, it occurred to me that he might be thinking of a CHARACTER that Tara Reid played, so I asked, “do you mean Tara Reid, the actress, Tara Reid, the person, or a character that she once played – like in American Pie?”  He replied “the person.”  And just like that, he plunged the knife further in my heart and twisted and turned it until my insides lay naked on the floor.

TARA REID???  REALLY?  Of all celebrities, he compared me to Tara Reid?  TARA REID???  What man compares his wife to Tara Reid — and thinks it’s a compliment?  HOW CAN THIS BE??  Eight years I’ve given to this man, and he likens me to Tara Reid. 

What I Know About Me That My Husband Apparently Doesn’t

1. I’ve never been in a movie, but I work and have worked since I was sixteen.  And other than the three months during the winter of 2001 that I was unemployed after a layoff, I have always worked somewhere doing something.
2. My hard partying days ended when I met my husband, and my hard partying days were kind of soft by just about everyone’s standards.
3. I don’t know Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan or anyone like them.
4. Other than college (which doesn’t count), I don’t think anyone has anything negative in the alcohol realm to say about me, and all of my parts are original.  Thank you very much.
5. I’m a red head and am completely sober most of the time (although I do get drunk eyes in photos when I wear contact lenses, and I do drink wine every night – but not a lot – really.).

I’ve been thinking about this Tara Reid conversation for four days, and I still don’t get it.  The husband couldn’t/wouldn’t explain it, and he hasn’t mentioned it since.  BTW, it took him about thirty minutes to realize he made a mistake in comparing me to Tara Reid.  He really thought it was a compliment.

I’m left with many questions, three of which are

1.  Does my husband really think I’m a washed up, messed up drunk?
2. If so, what should I do about it?
3. Is being likened to Tara Reid a compliment after all?

One more note:  I’m sure Tara Reid is a lovely person and has many fans, family, and friends who adore her.  I have nothing against her in any way.  I’m sure she is a nice person and probably donates time and money to charity.  This post in no way is intended to hurt Tara Reid in any way or cause her harm. 

Until next time . . .

Fat Celebrities

Per tutti coloro che sono sempre alle prese con chili di troppo, doppi menti e vestiti che non entrano mai, per tutti quelli che sono sempre a dieta, rincuoratevi guardando questa galleria di Gossip Blog dove i tipi di Worth1000 si sono divertiti ad ingrassare delle star che di solito si presentano in forma smagliante (a parte Amy Winehouse) conciandolo come delle povere mortali… Chi preferite?

P.S. Notare come Victoria Beckham sembri solo normale, non grassa…

The media we deserve?

The rumour that Glenn Beck is being considered as a replacement for Oprah sent shivers down my spine.

I struggled to understand how this rabble rousing dealer of mis-information and public fear-mongering could achieve a higher level of public access. I looked for someone to blame.

I blame Paris Hilton.

Human beings are always looking to apportion blame whenever they can. Normally blame is attached to serious situations such as war, politics, famine, disasters etc but blame can also be channelled towards sports, music, film and other leisure activities which we feel add enjoyment to our lives.

It could be that their football team is going through a bad patch, a frequent occurrence for supporters throughout the globe.  Doubled if you have any interest in the national team or even follow more than one sport.

A favourite band is no longer releasing material of quality (Exhibit 1, Metallica, St. Anger), and you are more than happy with the greatest hits instead of new stuff. It could even be that your favourite series of films has been ruined with the introduction of an annoying creature who takes up more screen time than is necessary.

Those to blame must stand up and shoulder responsibility.

So I can safely say that I blame Paris Hilton.

To be fair to Ms Hilton, she is not the only culprit but she seems to adequately sum up in a single package everything that is wrong with the world of entertainment today.

Lindsay Lohan, Pop Idol, Reality TV, Big Brother, music channels that show no music but a seemingly endless stream of shows with D (or lower) List celebrities, WAGs, Victoria Beckham, Jackass, Celebrity Ice Dancing, Celebrity Chefs, Survivor, John and Kate plus 8 (or minus 8 or divorced or back together again – I have lost track!)………the list is endless, and there seems to be no relief in sight.

Popular Culture is drowning in a sea of mediocrity, highlighted by the public desire for their individual fifteen minutes of fame.

Will anyone remember the “balloon boy” incident as anything other than a father using his child for publicity?

How many times have we watched the “talent shows” and enjoyed the spectacle of the deluded and talent-less embarrassing themselves on TV?

Are we not secretly disappointed when the show concentrates on those who have some ability? Does anyone really remember the finalists?

 How many more so-called celebrities are desperately scrambling to maintain their time in the spotlight?

How many more films will be released that go straight to DVD? Do we really need any more slices of American Pie?

The media tries to maintain an element of quality but the voracious desire of the public for a constant stream of celebrity news and gossip means that the pool of real talent is almost dry. We are willing to accept almost anything that pouts in the flash of the cameras and almost anyone can be a “star” if they get a chance.

Don’t get me wrong, I love Popular Culture.

I have always loved movies and television and I have spent many happy hours watching and re-watching my favourites but I seem to be constantly reviewing the past instead of investigating what is in the here and now.

The reason for this is quite simple, there is so little of interest being produced by the entertainment industry, that I am forced to consider other options.

And watching entertainment that thinks it is news is not the answer,  Glenn Beck!

I am always looking for something that will pique my interest but in the last five years there has been a paucity of quality which concerns me greatly. However the media networks continue to churn out product, more channels are available for us to surf and hundreds of movies are released that nobody will ever watch.

And at the centre of the talent vacuum sits Paris.

I still struggle to understand what she actually does. She seems to be in everything but is good at nothing. She is a constant presence in the newspapers, and there is a continued media interest in where she goes and what she does. Surely we are beyond this? Does anyone really care?

I know that the media industry has some of the most talented individuals in the world working within it, and I know that there are projects of real quality being worked on and shown throughout the world.

But until we learn to differentiate between what is considered celebrity and what is seen as talent, we will continue to be bombarded with more media then we can possibly ever consume, but we have no-one to blame but ourselves.

We have the media that we deserve.

Today's radar...

1.) Heath’s final film is doing well in Italy.

2.) Despite what Entertainment Weekly says…everyone is still subject to trashy television. But seriously, how did the Hills not make the list?
–Sorry, but I enjoyed this bit of trashy telly…and The Swan. Some of those women really got fucked up mentally afterwards.
–This one always made me feel icky. The people are such trash and so pathetic…but by God they’re gonna git ‘em there faces on the TV even if it’s because they’re a cheatin’.
–Watched The Simple Life too.

–Do they still make new ones of Jerry Springer? I don’t think it’ll ever go away. Oh, and that movie…Jaime Pressly before Earl.

3.) This picture of Peter Cincotti makes him look a bit possesed…but who the hell cares. He’s pretty and talented.

Paris Hilton, urmasa lui Elvis?

Ar vrea ea!

Dupa ce o multime de vedete, reviste si televiziuni i-au adus un omagiu lui Michael Jackson, a venit si randul lui Elvis Presley sa se afle din nou in centrul atentiei. Daca vestimentatia a Regelui este cam incarcata pentru vedetele din zilele noastre, coafura sa este biletul spre o coafura de succes.

Asa s-a gandit si frumusica de Paris Hilton. Imbracata decent, intr-o rochie stralucitoare, pe un umar,  Paris Hilton a renuntat la extensiile de prost gust in favoarea unei coafuri sofisticate. In sfarsit, pot sa spun: “Asa da, Paris!”

Inca nu am aflat daca a plecat treaza de la eveniment!

Tweens Skank It Up for Halloween

When I was 13 years old, I dressed up as a homemade Christmas tree for Halloween. I was covered from head to toe in ornaments and Christmas lights. The battery pack was held securely in my underwear, which made for awkward and slightly dangerous times in the bathroom. Regardless, I was a-glow in the Christmas/Halloween spirit and I looked stunning.

Recalling my Halloweens past, my costumes of choice were a far cry from what teens these days are wearing. And what is it they are slipping into on Halloween? Not bunny costumes or scary ghouls. No, upon perusing the aisles at my local Halloween store I learned that the middle schoolers are taking a hint from their big sisters/Paris Hilton and getting into the spirit…of looking skanky.

It took me until my freshman year of college to embrace the sexy, slutty side of the holiday. And while I may have been a late bloomer, the pre-teen purchasing “Striped Prison Girl aka Mis-Behaved” is DEFINITELY ahead of her time.

I always thought this generation’s youth was one step ahead of the awkward curve with the invention of the straightening iron and a slightly more advanced sense of fashion. (We’ve all seen Suri Cruise in those great kitten heels.) But then they see their precious Hannah Montana posing nude on the cover of a magazine and doing a pole dance on stage, and so the door was shut on the age of modesty.

And opened wide on the age of showing their lady parts in exchange for Twix bars.

For every 12 year old I see this Halloween dressed as a street-walking Little Red Riding Hood, I will say a prayer. What child’s parents are letting them walk out of the house looking like they’re cruising for more than just candy? I hope they at least put a can of Mace in their trick-or-treat bag to ward off child molesters and Roman Polanski.

Meet the Van Dykes

Back in the 70s when men wore beards and women wore their radicalism on their sleeves, a group of feminists called the Van Dykes emerged. They were not Dutch, nor were they even European and if Dick had come calling, they would have put up a fight for Mary Poppins.

The Van Dykes were lesbians. Tough lesbians. They constructed Women’s Land, little farms all across the great American mainland where men could not enter. If a man – a postal worker for example – were to set one foot on that fine feminine soil, he’d be shot at.

Going further the women attempted to eliminate men from their world altogether. They ignored them. If their waiter or petrol pump attendant turned out to have an Adam’s Apple, they just skipped lunch or freewheeled on empty to the next station.  The world was suffering from ‘testosterone poisoning’ they cried, but a little bit of testosterone went a long way to creating the classic Van Dyke look.

Moustaches, some au naturale and some drug enduced, were the badge of honour on the face of any proud Van Dyke. It was the final frontier in getting men to disregard their sexuality. The moustache for them was the last weapon at their disposal in the war against sexism and gender discrimination.  Jeepers,  they must grind their teeth like a windmill when they see images like old Paris below.

Review: Supernatural, Season 5, Episode 5: Fallen Idols

We have been hearing about it for awhile, and the moment finally happened — Paris Hilton graced the little screen and made for a pretty awesome supernatural force to be dealt with. Discussion forums and fan sites were filled with speculation in the last couple of weeks as to the effect having Paris Hilton on the show would have on its ratings; some went even further, stating that this episode might be the one which will make Supernatural jump the shark.

Happily enough, none of this happened; in true Supernatural style, Paris’ visit to the set made sense and fit perfectly with both the myth of the Leshi the brothers were fighting as well as with the style of the last four years and five episodes.

I’ve said it before, but it begs to be said again: kudos to the writing team. We were treated to a great episode that simultaneously entertained viewers and taught them a little more about the paranormal, took the relationship between the three protagonists one step further, and provided for an amazing social criticism.

Yes, three — everyone keeps forgetting about the Impala.

While their complicity isn’t (understandably) the same as it used to be, it was nice to see the Winchester brothers working together again. Many discussion boards and fan sites are already filled with mentions of how great it is that Dean and Sam are finally really mending fences. On the flip side, it seems to be that there weren’t as many Dean quips in this episode as there usually are, but then again, it’s a good reflection of the state of mind he’s in.

The slight shift in the relationship between the two brothers was also interesting, and yet another reason why this show is amazing. Sam being honest with both himself and Dean was a sign that he’s (finally) becoming more mature, and Dean is still able to put his ego to the side and admit when he’s wrong (given time). If at the very least the brothers can learn such important lessons from the Apocalypse… nope, that still doesn’t make it any easier to deal with. Oh well… I tried.

This shift in the relationship has a lot to do with both brothers not only being honest with themselves about their own role in the Apocalypse, but also with the fact that they are starting to be honest with each other about the other’s role in starting the Apocalypse. Sometimes I couldn’t help but wonder if Dean was seeking redemption for breaking the first seal by putting the pressure on Sam to stop the Apocalypse from happening. I also can’t help but wonder if the difficulty Dean has been having with Sam in the last couple of episodes has to do with the guilt Dean feels at breaking the first seal that he transferred onto Sam.

Sam: Dean, One of the reasons I went off with Ruby was to get away from you.
Dean: What?
Sam: It made me feel strong, like I wasn’t your kid brother.
Dean: Are you saying this is my fault?
Sam: No, it’s my fault. All I’m saying is that if we are going to do this, we have to do it different. We can’t just fall into the same rut.

Whatever the case may be, the most important thing is that the brothers have started going deeper; they have started to identify the reasons why they fell into the trap (of breaking the first and last seals) in the first place. One of the main reasons Dean went to hell was because he felt it was his role as the older brother to protect his kid brother. But lately, the anger Dean felt because of Sam’s betrayal made him realise that he shouldn’t be there to hold Sam’s hand and clean up his messes; however, he has been realising that life without his brother sucks, and that they both need one another. And Sam has been realising that while Dean has been treating him like his kid brother, he had other ways of reacting to it other than listening to a demon and getting hooked on demon blood. And him talking honestly about it at the end of this episode could be the beginning of the end of the rift between them.

Ah, brotherly love. Is anyone else feeling all warm inside?

I can guess that it’s going to be very interesting to watch how the relationship between the two brothers is now going to be like. Sam asked for his emancipation from only being a kid brother and Dean has started to accept his role as equal rather than as protector. Dean and Sam walking side by side, rather than Dean holding Sam’s hand, is going to make for a much stronger Winchester team.

The writing, filming, and acting needs its share of kudos here, too: the way the show goes in depth into the nature of the Sam-Dean relationship and its shift with relatively little said really is a sign of the maturity of both the writers and the actors; the evolution of the relationship is chronicled not only in the words exchanged between the two brothers and their actions, but also in the way they react to each other, sometimes in very subtle ways. The quality of the show seems more and move obviously related to the quality of each stage of production.

There are a number of other things that I loved about this episode. For example, as a car lover, the ‘Little Bastard’ reference was amazing. I have to admit that my first reaction to the opening scene, after freaking out about James Dean’s car, was to be really excited about a ‘haunted car’ episode (something I would have wanted Mulder and Scully to investigate). Then I remembered this was the episode guest starring Paris Hilton and that a haunted car just wouldn’t really explain the leaked Paris Hilton plotline.

But even with its associated amazingness, the ‘Little Bastard’ reference wasn’t the best part of this episode (I apologize to all my car-loving friends who might have a minor aneurysm or heart attack at the above statement). The honour of best part of the episode goes to the social criticism given by the Leshi. Ironically enough, the nutty god was in the shape of Paris Hilton while giving its pep talk, which made the entire thing all the more unreal.

Dean: You’re not the first god we’ve met, but you are the nuttiest.
Leshi: No, you. You people, you’re the crazy ones. You used to worship gods. But this? [Gestures at the Paris Hilton form he has taken] This is what passes as idolatry? Celebrities? What do they have, apart from small dogs and spray tans? You people used to have old time religion, now you have US Weekly.

The Leshi’s statement was brilliant for two reasons. First of all, it is true that we have been replacing gods and spirituality with other things, such as materialism and celebrities, which I think of as materialism’s prophets. Case in point: we have people all over the country who have entire rooms transformed into shrines to one celebrity or another. I’m willing to bet that while the amount of money spent on tabloids and all things celebrity related has skyrocketed in the last five years, expenditures related to religion and spirituality have perhaps only moderately increased, if not decreased.

Considering the state of mind of people today as well as their ensuing priorities, does it really surprise anyone that the state of the world is as it currently is?

Not me, it doesn’t. But it does, however, give me hope that instead of idolizing celebrities just because they are famous, we will learn to once again idolize the qualities and attribute of people who made a positive and lasting difference in the world. Because in all honesty, no one is perfect, and no one deserves to be idolized.

Another case in point: all the fallen angels featured on Supernatural. The second reason why the Leshi’s statement is brilliant is that not only does it reflect the state of the real world (i.e. ours), but also the state of the world as defined by the show. Think about Zachariah (ah, how I love putting him down). Perhaps is the angels hasn’t started simply following him and his opinion, perhaps even idolizing him, they would have been able, just like Anna and Castiel, to figure out what is wrong with the picture.

And, perhaps a little more to the extreme, think about God; if idolization and blind adoration had given way to intelligent devotion à la Castiel (i.e. questioning and continuously searching), perhaps religion wouldn’t be in the state it’s currently in.

So the title of this episode, “Fallen Idols”, could very well be the fact that the idols of the victims, i.e. Abe Lincoln, Little Bastard and – egad – Paris Hilton, end up killing them rather than bringing them the joy they thought they would have had. It could also be the fact that these people’s idols should have been less of the lower, human or materialistic kind and more of the spiritual kind. It could also be that in the show, the greatest idol of them all, God, has yet to make an appearance. Or it could be one of the best social criticism that Supernatural has had to offer yet, that the world is in serious need and its population should rethink about how its main idol, materialism, has only failed at the eternal happiness is has long been promising us.

On a lighter note, here are some of the great lines in this episode:

Sam: So what’s with this job?
Dean: A dude has a head-on collision in a parked car? I’d say it’s worth checking out.
Sam: Yeah definitely, but we got bigger problems, don’t you think?
Dean: I’m sure the Apocalypse will still be there when we get back.Dean: We’re not your typical cops.
(You don’t say.)

Dean, finding out about Little Bastard: Oh, we are definitely checking this out.

Dean: Don’t speak. Don’t even look at her. She might not like it.

Dean: Darn he’s short.
Sam: Hey. Ghandi was a great man.
Dean: For a smurf.

Dean: Four score and seven years ago, I had a funny hat.

Dean: You couldn’t be a fan of someone cool? Really? Gandhi?

Dean: Let me get this straight. Your, uh, ultimate hero was not only a short man in diapers, but he was a fruitarian.
Sam: That’s not the point.
Dean: That is good. Even for you, that is good.

Dean: I’m not a Paris Hilton bff. I’ve never even seen House of Wax.

Dean: Don’t.
Sam, grinning: Dude. You just got whaled on by Paris Hilton.

Party Animal

Gossip Center

After a night in NYC partying in blue leopard, Paris Hilton along with borefriend Doug Reinhardt are back in LA.  After arriving at LAX Paris was whisked off to her sister Nicky’s birthday party at The Tea Room in traditional leopard print. Is she just showing us she knows the trends?

But what is impressive is that after a nearly four hour flight, Paris already dressed in party clothes, was all good ‘n ready to catch her sister’s party.

Spring 2010: EMANUEL UNGARO

Emanuel Ungaro’s collaboration with Lindsay Lohan was pretty cheese and girly. Pepto bismol pinks, electric blues and kelly greens were all adorned with a heart motif that seemed best suited for Paris Hilton, not fashion guru’s that sit front row at YSL. That being said, there were some very nice silhouettes: short dresses that demand a stellar pair of stems, and some fitted blazers. However, all the clothes were at a fine line between classy and trashy…and the little heart pasties certainly didn’t help.

There are definitely some pieces in this collection that I would want in my closet, but as a whole, it was nothing we haven’t seen before. A lot of sites really ragged on Lindsay for this collection, saying that she should rebirth her acting career, and I have to say that I disagree. For her first “real” collection, this is pretty impressive. I think we can expect to see her designs and ideas blossom into something quite lovely if she’s given the opportunity to do so.

Emanuel Ungaro

Paris Hilton lanza más basura al mercado

Como la empresaria que es (tiene años usando su vagina como un negocio), Piru Hilton, presentó ante un montón de weyes con los que seguramente ha follado la prensa su nueva línea de lentes de sol y trajes de baño. Era natural que Piru pensara en diseñar lentes de sol porque como todos ya sabemos, su ojo izquierdo se parece al de Popeye y qué mejor manera de ocultarlo que con unos gigantescas gafas. Piru no es tan pendeja como aparenta.

Pero en realidad, creo que Piru debería pensar en lanzar productos que vayan más con su imagen, una mejor idea podría ser una línea de condones o una de antibióticos. Ahora que lo pienso, podría ser una Simi-chica perfecta!.

Fuente

‘Supernatural’ Boss to Fans : ‘Withhold Judgment on Paris Hilton’

‘Supernatural’ Boss to Fans : ‘Withhold Judgment on Paris Hilton’

it stands to reason that a Supernatural season built around a looming apocalypse would feature a guest turn by Paris Hilton. But series creator Eric Kripke says the casting stunt — airing next Thursday — doesn’t herald the end of the world as we know it.

“I don’t think we’re gassing up the motorcycle to jump the shark yet,” insists Kripke of the episode, which finds the hotel heiress playing “a monster who takes the form of Paris Hilton… It’s a fun, irreverent episode about modern celebrity. [Fans] should withhold judgment until they see it.”

Kripke insists the idea to cast Hilton originated in the Supernatural writers room and not in a CW executive suite. “There was no pressure form the studio or network to do any stunt casting,” he says. “We had our wish list in the room of who would be the best spokesperson for a satirical monologue on modern celebrity and Paris Hilton was at the top of the list. We never expected in a million years that she would do it, but I spoke to her and she got the joke immediately and signed on quickly.“

“I give her a lot of credit for being a hell of a good sport,” he continues. “The fact that she was game to play the part speaks volumes about her sense of humor.”

What say you, Supe Nazis ? Willing to keep an open mind until next Thursday? Or does the mere mention of Paris Hilton’s name in connection with Supernatural make you die a little inside? Sound off below!

Source:EW.com

Reality "Stars" Are Making Bank

Don't be tardy for the party. And Pay me $10,000 to be there.

Lately I’ve been trying to come up with some get-rich-quick schemes in order to keep me off the streets and support my addictions – shopping and sushi. Short of throwing myself in front of a moving vehicle, I’ve really been struggling to find an easy way to make a ton of cash. But apparently, in this day an age, all a girl has to do is invest in some hair extensions and an upgrade in boob size in order to make her millions.

No, I’m not referring to prostitution. Unless that’s what you consider the girls on the VH1 series “Rock of Love Bus” who make $1,500 per personal appearance.  So I guess my new life plan should be: take part in a ridiculous reality series, make my way onto the D-list next to Kathy Griffin and then rake in the cash by going to fabulous parties and charging for it.

I just want to know one thing, who in their right mind would pay Johanna Botta from The Real World Austin $1,000 to hang out with them? She may be a former Miss Peru, but you’re in America now, Joanna. That’s not how we roll.

And another thing; disregarding what she makes per episode on the Real Housewives of Atlanta, did you know that gold digging, man stealing, “Tardy for the Party” singing Kim Zolciak charges $8,000-$10,000 per personal appearance? (Editor’s Note: I’d pay that much NOT to be in a room with that mess. Unless she’d perform live. Then I’d pay that fo sho.) Well of course these women are going to be rich and fabulous wherever they go; Bravo pays them thousands of dollars just to show up! Kim needs another skin-tight, boobie-poppin’ dress to match her new wig? No problem, just show up at some random party and demand payment.

But the one so-called celebrity that really grinds my gears is Paris Hilton. Does anyone know what she’s famous for anyway? A few whacked out reality series under her belt and now she charges a $100,000 personal appearance fee. I’d be lucky if I made that in a year. Really lucky. Does anyone even like Paris Hilton? Could anyone like her enough to spend $100k and risk herpes/HPV? You’d be better off paying me to show up at your party. And unlike Paris, I wouldn’t make you dress up or kiss my ass to be my BFF.

Where do D-list celebs draw the line? Do they expect to get paid to show up at their own birthday party?  I guess 15 minutes of television fame isn’t enough for these people. They’re milking the publicity cow for all it’s worth.  So please let me know when the next Rock of Love Bus is due into the station. I’ll stroke Bret Michael’s ego and synthetic hair for that kind of cash flow.

This little piggy...got a movie deal

Meet Tucker Max.

You may have heard of him, or even met him. Hopefully not.

Recently, the local paper did a cover story on him, calling him the “most vile man on Earth.” The story made me mad, really mad. It told me all I needed to know about this self-proclaimed a$$hole. It also referred to him as “Pig #1.” So, I decided to take their lead and call him Little Piggy, because, well, he is.

Little Piggy is actually an average-looking guy (and average in lots of other ways, he admits) but, for reasons which mystify me (hence the blog), has a ridiculously popular Web site where he chronicles his immature, irresponsible, womanizing behavior (the Tucker Max Stories!) and has done so for several years now.

l-o-s-e-r

He has admitted to going to an LP convention to find himself a little person for “novelty” reasons. Gross. He also has brilliantly concocted a scale where he rates women, starting at “common-stock pig” all the way up to the very elite  “super hottie” (you KNOW you’ve made it when!) He goes out of his way to ridicule and humiliate these women, including (and especially) those who may be imperfect (overweight, have a disability, etc.) He has also written a book ( “I hope they serve beer in hell“) that is a NY Times best seller.

Anyways, you get the point. Ick. I want to take a shower after just thinking about this creep.

So, why am I even wasting my time (and yours) writing about this loser who at 33 still drinks himself into oblivion, sleeps with countless women and has built a cult-like following (mostly among frat guys, need I say more…) for doing so? You could say that I’m glorifying him and contributing to the problem by giving him any attention at all. Right-o.

I’m actually a player hater and have never been, nor will I ever be, attracted to this kind of man (knowingly). But, I write about him not for that reason, but really to demonstrate a point, two actually…

1)  People like him are fascinating. The ugly are just as interesting as the beautiful. And in this case, I mean the morally ugly, like Little Piggy. Being that I am in PR, I am probably more fascinated than most about what catches people’s attention. As a marketer, you struggle to do just that. It’s so, so hard, but once you’ve got it, you’re in — for  a little while at least. But, back to Little Piggy. He is certainly no poster child for a PR success, BUT he has made  a name for himself … and money, too. So, for that reason, it is an interesting study of human behavior.

For some reason, people like him are revered in our society. We live in a “I want to look away but can’t” society where we more often than not gravitate towards the inappropriate or morally suspect. Paris Hilton – example #1. Girls Gone Wild phenomenon, example #2. The fact that more people know more about the little tape “McSteamy” and his wife made, than about the health care debate in Washington, example #3. People like Little Piggy are followed, emulated and even rewarded.They get movie deals (his opened this weekend in NY and LA, stop what you are doing!) and book tours and blogs dedicated to them … and they make money doing the college circuit (!!).

If people did not find his stories so interesting, he would just be another creepy loser  trolling the bars, skipping out on tabs, and we’d never know about it. But, he has thousands and thousands (probably millions now, thanks to my blog) of readers and fans (half of whom he swears are women) who follow his every move.

2)  Wow, some women are really stupid. Just who are these women anyways? The ones who meet Little Piggy, or worse, seek him out, knowing who he is? Could they be more of a cliche if they tried? In my book, any woman who willingly associates with this douche bag (emphasis on the word willingly, some may not know) is in the same class as those who seek out serial killers in prison. Daddy issues perhaps? Rebellion? These are the ones that Little Piggy refers to as his “Ho-Grab Bag” (awesome).

I found one woman chosen at random from his Web page (yes, I did go on it, but just for research purposes) to prove my point. This one — I’ll call her White Trash Tattoo Girl — actually sought him out on-line and after, well, “spending time” with him, went so far as to broadcast this fact (a la a tattoo!) and in return earned herself — wait for it… yes, the holy grail in the Little Piggy world — a blog on his page all about her (yay!). Let’s see, she’s a bartender (check). Self-admitted “attachment” issues (check). Abandoned by Dad (check, check). I rest my case.  Show me a smart, successful woman with confidence and I guarantee you they have not hung out with this loser. His pick up lines (cannot be published here, but begin with “do you want to….”) would lead only to a slap or a dirty look, followed by perhaps a drink in the face, though I doubt he is worth the price of my martini.

The last thing I will touch on here before I move on to my daily dose of celebrity gossip followed by some MSNBC (yes, I am a hypocrite, but admit it openly), is the term “fratire” that has been recently coined due to the writings of Little Piggy and others.

It’s a fascinating term I think, though a bit cutesy, kind of like “chick lit.” According to a blog by Little Piggy himself on the Huffington Post, “fratire” is “men writing about being men in an honest and authentic way.” Sad … but true? Men being men. Hmmn. Ok, so, I guess to be honest and authentic, you have to humiliate and defile women? Drink until you black out? Buy a breathalyzer from Sharper Image to keep track of how drunk you are… and write about it?

What a man.

Read more at: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tucker-max/pass-the-beer-in-defense-_b_22530.html

Well, here’s some authentic honesty for you Little Piggy. Where you end up, I hope they don’t serve beer, but rather shots o’ STD washed down with  a “I didn’t know she was your sister!” chaser.

Many Members

“Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.”- Romans 15:7

What is this obsession we have to make others be what we want them to be? Then when they’re not, we toss them aside. Hmmm. God believes in individuality and originality. Please read this excerpt from my upcoming book, Saved, but Lost:

Chapter 2 – Act of Uniformity

It is at times difficult to crawl out of the cages of comfort and inoffensively bland, politically correct participation in this world.  This is a special struggle to those who live their entire lives under the regime of grey and neutral colors dictating their every thought pattern and expression of those thought patterns.  Although we are created in an array of brilliant, vibrant colors from one end of the spectrum to the furthest point of the other, we are trained to congregate, operate and function somewhere in the middle.  To be an individual and to express such behavior has become offensive to others; thus, we are taught to conform, configure and consent to confining ordinariness.

Paul, an Apostle and major contributing writer to the New Testament of the Holy Bible, writes to the newly established Christian church in the Roman Empire. “Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you].”  Two hundred centuries prior to my existence Paul admonishes the congregation of a very uniformed and colorless nation of orderlies not to conform to this world of ordinary and common thinking and expression or to its superficial customs.  He challenges the small group to be transformed from that militant mentality by renewing their minds with new ideals and new attitudes that are forbidden by tyrants of protocol and tradition.  Paul then suggests emphatically that this new freedom of thinking, expression and living is good and acceptable and is even the perfect will of God.

Does God actually condone individualism and thinking outside of the box?  If the answer is yes, why then is our society so gung-ho in creating confining conditions enforcing mental dress codes?  In answering the first question, I will say yes according to, but not limited to, the following lines of Paul’s letter to the Roman church, “For as in one physical body we have many parts (organs, members) and all of these parts do not have the same function or use, so we, numerous as we are, are one body in Christ (the Messiah) and individually we are parts one of another [mutually dependent on one another].  Having gifts (faculties, talents, qualities) that differ according to the grace given us, let us use them…”   This unequivocally proposes that our creation is purposed in the colorful differences of experience and functionality to be able to not only celebrate, but also benefit from each others’ unique qualities and talents.

Copyright 2009

A person may look, act, feel, speak, think, respond, worship, operate differently than you. That’s because you may be the foot and they might be the elbow on the body of Christ. We’re all needed, so accept them and give God praise!

- rodney.

Kanye West es el tarado de la semana

Ok, la votación para elegir al tarado de la semana ha terminado y ya tenemos ganador y es nada más y nada menos que Kanye West, lo cual no es ninguna sorpresa, tomando en cuenta que lo que hizo incluso causó que incluso el presidente Barack Obama se burlara de él. En fin, espero que Kanye le haga honor al título y siga arrebatando micrófonos y destruyendo corazones de adolescentes indefensas.

El resto de la votación quedó como sigue:

Espero que estén de acuerdo con los resultados. Ah y MUCHAS GRACIAS por los votos!.

The Hollywood Brothel

As the news flies by us at one hundred miles a minute and in our ever shrinking world we struggle to keep up with all we need to know, we really start to see how little control we have. Have you ever been awakened by the flash of lightning and thunderous boom that seemed right above your house and you think for that moment, well, this is it? It’s the kind of moment that makes you realize how fleeting it all really is.

I want that “Little House On The Prairie” life. When no one cared what hollywood was doing or saying. There would have been no time. There were eggs to gather, cows to milk, fences to mend, and fields to plow. Life was hard, but maybe life is supposed to be hard. Idle hands are the devils workshop.

We’ve all looked at old photos and heard it said no one ever looked happy back then. My brother, the photographer, explained the real reason to me. The process and exposure time back then took so long that it was near impossible to hold a smile that long. So to keep the image from becoming blurry, they simply held a straight face. This makes sense to me, but I still think it wasn’t that they weren’t happy, it was just that life was a bit more serious back then. They were busy surviving, news traveled slower, and the only way the Hollywood air-heads would have made a living back then would have been in a brothel, which is what Hollywood actually is.

Have you ever seen more people sell themselves the way they do in Hollywood? These are the role models and idols of today? Most of them lack any moral decency or ethical decorum, let alone any shred of class. The worst part of it all is the fact that they get paid to be in movies when most of them can’t even act. They have one character they play and they shove into every role they get. These are people, that if they were forced into the real world, wouldn’t have enough skills to get a job asking, ” Do you want to super-size your meal today?”  We celebrate mediocrity and wait for the train wreck for something to watch. How else do you explain the likes of Lindsey, Brittany, and Paris?

P.R.Knuhob

You Killin the Magic Baby...Chill pt1

Oprah puts in work and walks around saving kids in South Africa, so aint nobody hating on whatever mutated bunion that that may be. Still if she weren't "The O", no dude would wanna know about that from the first kickin it.

I know that honesty is often hated on, but ladies, let me try to help you understand something from the general male point of view.

When a dude is first meeting and getting to know you, he doesn’t want to know what physical feature(s) of yours may take away from your “fine-ness”.

Quick story to help you understand.

When I take eat breaks at my “office”, I usually cut on the TV to pollute my mind for 15 minutes or so. Although I have the budget busters package (12 channels w/ BET thrown in for free that fuzzes in and out ever 2 minutes), for some reason as of late, MTV has been showing up

Usually this is only cool-like if you show the other two nipples as well. But Lily Allen just wants to highlight her third. I aint hating.

pretty clear. So to kill time while downing a biscuit I watched some of “Parental Control”. (You know the joint where parents choose an alternative date for their child. Then they watch the date w/ that child’s boyfriend/girlfriend. Then that bf/gf says the most disrespectfully staged things that in real life woulda even made Ghandi slap that fool.) In this particular episode, the dude was rolling w/ the first girl his parents chose for him. She was a semi-fine womens sitting on a lil jiggly-puff who seemed like the naive type to fall for the “guess what I hid in my pants” game. Anyway, he asked her to share a unique feature about her or something and then, this genius of a contestant proceeded to describe the extra fingers she had on each hand giving full description about how they used to have nails on them and everything. Although she now had them lil nyeggas chopped off, she still thought it dope to show him the post-operation nublets and laugh harder when he gave his “I’m glad we didn’t eat first” smile.

End of story.

Now ladies, kill your “Piph, you’re being too superficial” hate real quick b/c if you looked over some of the past womens I gave my time to than you’ll see that raw beauty isn’t the only criteria. (If one of ya’ll is reading this, I’m definitely talking bout the other ones.) You see, I know that there are millions of people w/ the squid hand, extra skin flaps, the shark grill, and other junk as a result of us eating the retarded meat for too long. That’s cool and that’s life. I aint tripping. Also, I even personally wrote about how a confident female is appealing. Still…and I repeat, still…in those initial meeting pop-offs, just leave us in the dark about some of your less favorable physical characteristics. You see, it’s not that we don’t care. It’s more so that initially, we really just don’t wanna know. Scratch that. We just don’t NEED to know. Understand, when that dude meets you he’s more than likely not thinking about meeting your parents. Wey get coerced into that later on. As my fam Bo would say, he just wants to make sure you’re cool and cute enough to hold your hand while walking thorugh the mall. He doesn’t want to think about the extra finger that will be gripping his hand too.

So my advice: Be EZ. All them less than flattering characteristics will come out in due time for both sides. And the crazy thing bout love is that we’ll then somehow/someway find them a cute lil distinct feature about you. But when you drop the “my belly button’s located on my hip” off top, you lose us. Trust, you’re killing the magic baby….chill.

Part II (Probably) Coming Soon…

So what? She's a Trekkie.

*I gotta note that this message is excluding the dudes who are just about cutting action. See, when their (whore)mones getta moving, them ninjas don’t care. You could show them your lil Siamese twin sister popping out your back and they’ll just put a hood over her and consider it a menage trois. (It’s a cold world, baby girl…SMH.)

La Lohan lascia il cinema...E lavora per Ungaro!!

L’attrice americana Lindsay Lohan, 23 anni, sarà consulente artistica per la casa di moda francese Emanuel Ungaro. Il suo compito sarà di rendere il marchio “più cool” e diventare un “mezzo pubblicitario dinamico”, ha affermato l’amministratore delegato di Ungaro, Mounir Moufarrige. Scelta tra una rosa di cinque celebrità, tra cui figuravano anche Madonna e Paris Hilton, la Lohan affiancherà il lavoro della stilista spagnola emergente Estrella Archs. Le due presenteranno la loro prima collezione primavera-estate 2010 il 5 ottobre 2009 a Parigi. Mounir Moufarrige ha sottolineato che la giovane star americana si è guadagnata credibilità, conquistando numerose copertine di riviste di moda, e ha indossato il primo cappotto Ungaro alla giovane età di 13 anni. Mouffarige ha poi ricordato la ragione del licenziamento di Esteban Cortazar, lo stilista britannico-colombiano che aveva collaborato con la casa di moda fino allo scorso luglio: “nelle passate tre stagioni le vendite non sono aumentate . In un momento di crisi non possiamo ancora aspettare quattro o cinque anni”.

Fonte:LE